


A Thousand Years

by chararii



Series: Old works from my (dead) FF.net account [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Blood and Injury, F/F, Falling In Love, Friendship, Light Angst, Memory Loss, Pre-Relationship, Second Chances, Teacher-Student Relationship, Time Travel, Worldbuilding, but nothing really happens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:41:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 28,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26464327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chararii/pseuds/chararii
Summary: The first seventeen years of Gwendolyn Kershaw's life are ordinary for the most part. When four transfer students enter Hogwarts during her final year, everything becomes as far from normal as possible.I loved you then and I love you now (even if you can't remember me, I never forgot you).
Relationships: Rowena Ravenclaw/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Old works from my (dead) FF.net account [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1785646
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	A Thousand Years

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this maybe five years ago? And just recently found it on my hard drive. It was a personal work but I might as well, now that I firmly established myself in my niche corner. I combed through it but my writing style and language skills evolved a lot since then so yeah. It's a bit different than my usual stuff.
> 
> Adverb hell is real.

_It was raining heavily and it had done so for hours. The lights were mostly gone by now except for the indoor lights which shone through the windows and flickered in the darkness of the night. Arms slung around her middle, Gwendolyn stood in the rain and let the water pour down on her with the faintest of smiles on her lips. It was so dark that she could barely see but it didn't matter since she had her eyes closed anyway. Breathing in the scent of the rain with her mouth slightly opened she felt every single drop of water running down her hair and face, soaking her uniform and chilling her immensely._

„ _There you are. I was looking for you.“ Gwen's head turned and her smile widened ever so slightly as she was faced with her teacher. Bowing her head, she moved a few strands of hair out of her face which had stuck to her skin and sent the older woman the most sheepish smile she could produce._

„ _I apologise. I presumed you had already retired to your study“, she answered earnestly and stepped out of the rain underneath one of the arched gateways which led to the inner courtyard._

„ _I had until I spotted a student standing in the rain past curfew,“ the tall female pointed out and Gwen blushed and sighed once before interlocking her hands in front of her body._

„ _My deepest apologies. I didn't mean to disturb you. I just... I suppose I needed a bit of time to myself before I return to the dorms,“ Gwen spoke quietly and longingly looked at the rain again which poured from the sky in a merciless storm. She was aware that Lady Ravenclaw was no friend of personal matters, leaving those to Lady Hufflepuff to deal with but Gwen felt she owed her teacher an explanation as to why she was still out and about. Even if she was technically allowed to be here._

„ _Is your new position not to your liking?“ Professor Ravenclaw enquired and Gwen immediately shook her head to deny her assumption._

„ _I take great joy in being the leader of the student body. Even if it is exhausting sometimes... the past few weeks were a nightmare. Perhaps it's the season?“ she mused through the rain and didn't even flinch at the sudden cracks of thunder and lightning. It truly was her favourite weather. So much better than the sun._

„ _This is your last year of education. I assume you are excited about the prospect of returning home soon after seven years abroad?“ the dark-haired woman asked and Gwen's smile dimmed a little and became slightly crooked, not that she herself noticed. It was true. She would be going home soon. In a few months, she would be gone – forever._

„ _Yes, actually. It will be wonderful to see the Glades again,“ she answered flatly but reminded herself to smile properly again and try to forget about the fact that she was lying._

„ _Endless rain, raging thunderstorms, waves crashing against the cliffside... what's not to love?“ Gwen murmured to herself, taking solace in the fact that the thunder above her was drowning her words. She loved the Evergreen Glades with all her heart but there was no denying that they were a cold, bitter and incredibly dismal place. They were where she was born but not where she felt she belonged. They weren't home._

„ _Oh, that reminds me. There was a small incident earlier today, a scuffle between one of your students and one of Professor Slytherins. I believe they bickered about the magical properties of nightshade or something similar. When I found them they were attacking each other with flying books. I sent them to their respective teachers. I believe young Jocelyn will approach you tomorrow after breakfast,“ Gwen recited dutifully and started to grow a little uncomfortable in her damp clothes. Drenched and wet or warm and dry but please, nothing in between. A brief hint of annoyance flickered over Professor Ravenclaw's face. Gwen knew she detested whenever her students misbehaved but there was no helping it. While Gwen could very well assign detentions she never did so before sending them to their teachers. After all, they should decide on punishments._

„ _I had hoped to acquire a few mild-tempered students this year but I fear I shall be disappointed,“ the older woman almost lamented and Gwen smiled lightly._

„ _If you do not wish to arrange for detention yourself, I will spend most of tomorrow in the library to catch up on my essay work. I am sure the books could use a bit of dusting off the non-magical way. I plan to extend the offer to Professor Slytherin,“ she spoke softly and found her own smile widen when the usually austere woman gave her the faintest of smiles, just an upwards quirk of her lips but it was more than people usually got._

„ _I will send her to you then. You have my gratitude,“ the woman said and Gwen laughed quietly. Odd of her to thank her for doing the job she appointed her to do._

„ _However I do believe it is about time for you to retire. I will see you to your dorms.“ There was no denying her teacher voice so Gwen merely nodded and followed her through the roofed parts of the courtyard leaving behind a wet trail of water. She walked in front of her so Gwen could take her time to regard and memorise her exceedingly tall and slender form, the long dark hair which freely fell down her back and the way she walked with her shoulders squared and head straight. Looking to the floor again, a faint blush rose on Gwen's cheeks and she sighed to herself. She would miss her like lungs missed air but right now she was still here. Gwen intended to make the most of it and if her only legacy was to leave a good impression then that was already good enough._

Fingers brushing against the glass cabinets, Gwen wandered the hall of trophies, the faint clicks her shoes made against the stone floor being the only noise to echo around the room. It was way past curfew already but the head girl had the benefit of being treated slightly differently in that regard and if anyone were to find her she could still get out of it unscathed as long as it didn't happen regularly. She had spent the past six years as a student with an irreproachable reputation and allowed herself to reap the benefits tonight. Just an hour ago she had been sitting in the common room of the head's dorm and worked on an essay for transfiguration, relishing in the fact that Logan had already gone to bed. Gwen so loved having the room to herself so she could enchant a few candles and a harp to play some music and enjoy it without being disturbed.

Yet tonight it had simply become too much. The silence, the calm, the urgent sense of loss she couldn't understand. So Gwen had dressed into her uniform and left the dorms to wander the empty and deserted halls of Hogwarts. To see everything she would have to leave behind in just eight months. For some reason, the thought broke her heart more than she thought it would. Passing the Quidditch trophies she stopped at the long list of head boys and girls throughout the years. Logan Grant and Gwendolyn Kershaw made the bottom of the list with their respective house insignias next to their names. Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. A good and solid mixture. Letting her gaze sweep across the long line of names, she eventually reached the top of the list and felt her breath get stuck in her throat.

Gwendolyn of the Kershaw Evergreens (997 A.D. - 998 A.D.)

„The first ever Head Girl, appointed by Rowena Ravenclaw herself.“ Gwen flinched at the sudden voice and whirled around to see Professor Dumbledore standing just a few feet away from her with a thoughtful expression on his face. Blushing instantly, her mind raced with excuses as to why she was here way past midnight but he beat her to it.

„I remember my last year quite well. I too grew restless on some occasions. As long as it doesn't happen too often...,“ he trailed off with a twinkle in his eyes and Gwen allowed herself to relax again. Just a little, but her eyes strayed back to the list and a name that was identical to her own. What were the chances?

„Sir, is it possible that she was my ancestor?“ she asked meekly, too fascinated by the engraving to notice the odd look he gave her.

„Most things are entirely possible,“ he answered cryptically and Gwen sighed quietly before playing with the badge that was pinned to her robes.

„However I do know the origins of the post itself in case you're interested,“ he offered and Gwen found herself nodding before she could open her mouth to say something. Professor Dumbledore stepped closer until he too stood in front of the list and looked at his own name which was located among the eighteen hundred's.

„The first students to attend Hogwarts were all young and had been gathered by the founders during their trek around the whole country. They would visit grand cities and small villages to find their own and offer them a place in which they could learn to handle their gift, away from persecution by muggles or noble uprisings. The first generation followed a second just two years after and by the time the original students had completed their sixth year of education the number of pupils had tripled. Too busy with their classes and maintaining and handling the castle, the founders looked for a way to shift some of their work as to not neglect the students."

"It was Helga Hufflepuff who had the idea of picking a student, the one they would most trust to be responsible, a student who had outstanding academical results and was known to be helpful and hard-working to represent them and be their link to the student body. Thus each founder decided on one of their own who they deemed suited best and then discussed among themselves to come to a conclusion. History claims their discussion grew to an outright dispute which escalated into a rather heated argument one night in Rowena Ravenclaw's private office. It was Gwendolyn of the Kershaw Evergreens, Ravenclaw's candidate, who was said to have entered the office and respectfully beg them to quiet down a little as the younger students who were homesick and hadn't settled in yet were scared of their loud and angry voices. It was her offer to take them to the kitchens and help them to a glass of warm milk that, in Hufflepuff's eyes, cemented the decision and made her vote for Ravenclaw's candidate."

"With two of the founders who wouldn't budge from their vote, the remaining two had little choice but to agree and a day later Gwendolyn was offered the position. They had agreed to make it last a year to discern whether or not it was needed and how useful a student representative was. Evidently, Miss Kershaw did a satisfactory job and thus started the tradition of having a head boy or girl which was later expanded to a boy and a girl as to prevent inappropriate situations with boys being unable to access the girl's dorms“ the headmaster recited the story and Gwen had listened with fascination. If there somewhere were more records like these she truly needed to get her hands on them before she graduated."

„And now, Miss Kershaw... I think you should retire. You do have to welcome the transfer students early tomorrow,“ the man added with a wink and Gwen nodded eagerly, having completely forgotten about that. Honestly, who transferred to a new school two weeks into the term? With a smile, she said goodbye and returned to her rooms. Shedding her uniform and brushing her teeth, Gwen soon enough laid in her bed and closed her eyes to get a few hours of sleep before she'd have to meet with them in the headmaster's office. Her dreams were full of blurred images and voices but the only thing she would remember the next morning was the story Professor Dumbledore had told her; and how familiar it felt.

_She was the last. Everyone else had already left and began their long journey home. She had been asked to stay behind for a few more days to wrap up any remaining business and instruct the newly appointed Head Girl, one of Professor Gryffindor's students. With a quiet sigh, Gwen closed her coffer and looked around the room that had been her home for the past seven years. It was breakfast time right now just a day into the new term and she had decided to take the opportunity and finish gathering her belongings. All she had to show for was collected in a few notebooks and various little trinkets she had acquired one way or another. She didn't know how to feel about the fact that her whole life could fit into one small bag._

_Tucking her wand in one of the inner pockets of her coat; she had already given her uniform to the house elves, she took a look in the mirror. She had changed a lot, hadn't she? She had grown certainly, not much but still a little and had turned from a child into a woman. She wore her hair in a neat plait to make it easily manageable for the trek and removed any traces of her faint reddish lipstick. She had come here seven years ago, wearing the exact same clothes and the exact same hairstyle but just as her hair had grown, she had to magically adjust her clothes so they fit. Gwen watched her mirror image smile sadly and without looking back she turned around and left the room._

_Wandering the empty halls of the castle only fuelled to the thumping ache in her chest, increasing to the point where she thought she could no longer breathe. Gwen sped up until she almost ran outside and took a huge gulp of air, feeling just a little light-headed. Leaning against a stone pillar and closing her eyes she thought of just sneaking away. Everyone else was still eating and she had said her goodbyes the day before so it wasn't like she was just running away without saying a word. And since the chances of Gwen ever seeing one of her teachers again were nigh impossible she might as well take advantage of it._

_Taking one last longing look at the castle, she turned around and shouldered her bag. It was a long journey back to the Glades and the bit of money she had would be enough for three nights in various inns and some food. Once back home she would most likely start training those too young to go to Hogwarts and make sure their sentient magic wouldn't get them in trouble with the locals. After all the Glades were known as a druidic circle which was as much an invitation for Christians to disrupt their daily life as it could get._

„ _Do my eyes deceive me?“ Feeling as if she had been caught doing something forbidden, Gwen flinched and turned around to be faced with the Professors Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, the former having addressed her and the latter bearing the same mask of neutrality as always._

„ _This cannot be my favourite student stealing herself away in the quiet of a new day,“ Hufflepuff added and Gwen gulped visibly before lowering her head in respect and although she'd rather not feel it, utter shame. She hadn't planned on getting caught._

„ _I said my goodbyes yesterday and didn't want to interrupt your breakfast,“ Gwen offered demurely and took confidence in the fact that it was not a lie only a mere half truth._

_„It's a long way. I thought I'd start early...,“ she added and felt out of place in her plain leathery robe with the green symbol of the Glades just below her chest. Judging from Hufflepuff's expression she didn't buy her excuse. Not that she had expected her to. The woman had the uncanny ability to read people's emotions and thoughts like other people read their letters._

„ _Look at that, Rowena. Finished her education and thinks herself smart enough to leave without us noticing,“ Hufflepuff exclaimed indignantly and Gwen looked up in alarm, getting ready to argue her case and beg to make her understand that that hadn't been her intention in the least when she spotted the amused smile on the blonde woman's lips and felt all her protest die in her throat. Taking a deep breath to calm herself again, she brushed an errant strand of hair out of her face and opened her mouth to apologise again when a loud scream interrupted the peace._

„ _GWEEEEEEEEEEEEN!“_

_Blinking twice, she looked past the two grown women and spotted a young girl racing down the hill, almost falling down and not stopping until she crashed into Gwen and sent them both to the ground. Letting out a dull groan as she was smothered by a twelve year old girl, Gwen tried to sit up but Jocelyn wasn't having it._

„ _You can't go!“ she stated forcefully and Gwen tried to get up once more but Jocelyn had assumed a sitting position on Gwen's stomach and her weight was enough to keep her on the grass._

„ _Young Jocelyn, you are not a child and should not behave like one.“ The stern voice of Professor Hufflepuff succeeded in doing what Gwen hadn't been able to and soon enough she was free to get up and try to smooth the creases of her robe. So much for sneaking away undetected, she wanted to say but bit her tongue and kept her thoughts where they were._

„ _But I don't want her to go. She braids my hair,“ Jocelyn answered with a small pout and Gwen felt her heart squeeze at the pale blue eyes looking at her in a silent plea._

„ _Gillian can braid your hair now, Josie. She's nicer than me too,“ Gwen explained patiently with a little smile and brushed the top of the blonde's head. She had followed her around like a duck its mother and Gwen had hoped she wouldn't take her departure too hard._

„ _Nobody's nicer than you,“ Josie pouted quietly and crossed her arms in front of her chest. Gwen pat her head one last time before drawing herself to her full height and focused the two teachers again._

„ _I am sorry for leaving like this. It felt easier,“ she offered and tried very hard not to look at the tall and impossibly beautiful woman next to Hufflepuff._

„ _For you?“ the blonde asked and Gwen nodded sincerely. Both women, she knew, appreciated honesty._

„ _Best be off then, Gwendolyn. As you said; it's a long way.“ Gwen's eyes became slightly watery at the mention of her first name. It was an all-time first. She suppressed a faint sniffle and nodded, smiling to herself._

„ _You better still be here when my children come,“ she joked with a watery smile and this time couldn't suppress the sniff and hiccuped once. So much for not getting sentimental._

„ _You will send your children?“ Ravenclaw asked and Gwen looked at her as if she had grown a second head._

„ _Should I not do it and deny them what will be the seven best years of their entire lives? Try and stop me_ _,“ she declared and brushed away a single tear which strolled down her cheek. And when she looked up and saw a sincere smile on her face, beauty of such rarity it seemed like a wonder in itself, Gwen turned around and started to walk away their gazes following her for a long time. Life at Hogwarts was over but one day she would have another chance at it and finally get it_ right.

Taking one last look in the mirror, Gwen straightened her collar one last time before putting the small mirror back inside her robes. A brief glance at her watch told her that it was exactly eight o'clock in the morning and thus she stepped in front of the gargoyle and clearly uttered:

„Lemon drops.“ The statue sprung to life and gave way to Professor Dumbledore's office. She had been given the names of the new transfers and was to meet them to show them around and enlighten them on the school's rules. Since she had been given a free period to do exactly that and thus was excused from potions she didn't mind all that much.

„...actually she should arrive any minute now,“ she heard Dumbledore say and took the cue to knock at the door and enter once being invited to do so. Four chairs were aligned in front of Dumbledore's desk and were taken by two boys and two girls, one small and one tall each.

„Ah, the woman of the hour. This would be Miss Kershaw. I assume you can take it from here?“ he asked with a look at Gwen who nodded dutifully and interlocked her hands behind her back.

„Splendid. Now, my best wishes for your first and last term at Hogwarts,“ Dumbledore added before sitting back down on his chair. Gwen watched as the four got off their chairs and turned around so she could see them. The first was a tall ginger with a muscular frame and an impish smile. The second was a shorter boy with long dark hair and a mildly sinister expression. Next to him stood a tiny blonde female with a kind expression which seemed in stark contrast to the girl next to her. She was tall and chilly and easily the most attractive out of all of them. Not that Gwen cared.

„If you would follow me please?“ Gwen asked and led them out of Dumbledore's office where she stood still, faced them and began to speak.

„I'm pleased to welcome you at Hogwarts. You will find our school has a long and rich tradition one of them being the existence of a Head Girl and a Head Boy. The latter is currently unavailable as he's busy organising Gryffindor's Quidditch team. I hope you don't mind being settled with me. Before I start explaining the rules and showing you around the castle, do you have any questions?“ she asked, carefully rehearsing the speech she had written in the early morning hours. She liked to be prepared.

„What's your name?“ the small blonde asked and Gwen briefly wondered if they had met before because there was just something about her that was mildly familiar.

„Gwendolyn Kershaw. I'd ask you to stick to a simple Gwen, however. It's easier to scream at the top of your lungs if someone harasses you as seems to be a quite common occurrence the past two weeks. Perhaps it's the season,“ she mused and didn't notice how the tall witch stiffened visibly at her words.

„On the topic of names though, I'm Gavin. The cranky one's Samuel, the cheerful one is Hannah and the crazy smart one is Regina,“ the redhead explained and gleefully ignored the two sets of dark looks that were shot his way. Gwen let her eyes slide over their uniforms and with mild surprise noted that they had all been sorted already. And in four different houses no less.

„Pleased to meet you. Now then, seeing as you managed to get yourselves spread across all four houses I will show you the entrances to your designated common rooms and explain to you how to get inside; in private. On the way, I will point out all relevant class rooms. I was told one of you qualified for every single N.E.W.T level class. You have both my respect and my deepest condolences“ Gwen spoke and noted with satisfaction that they dutifully followed her.

„That's Regina. Hell-bent on receiving twelve N.E.W.T's,“ Gavin piped up from behind her and Gwen cast a quick glance at the tall witch with a curious smile on her face.

„And here I was standing out with ten O.W.L's. I welcome the competition,“ she answered happily and led them around the halls and corridors.

„As far as I know ten N.E.W.T level classes are highly unusual. You must be rather accomplished,“ the cool and mildly haughty voice of Regina spoke and Gwen sent her another, albeit warmer smile.

„Wit beyond measure is men's greatest treasure. A sentiment of our house's founder. Now I'm not particularly witty so I try to make up for it by being determined to be as good as I possibly can. Not very elegant perhaps, but it works,“ she offered with a faint shrug and turned a corner, ignoring the curious looks their small group got form passing students.

„I am not sure if Headmaster Dumbledore told you but we are having a Yule Ball this year. Students from Europe's second and third largest wizarding schools will arrive two weeks prior giving you ample time to pick a date if Hogwarts' students are not to your tastes. Hogsmeade weekends as well as special deliveries from Diagon Alley should be sufficient in supplying you with dress robes. Now, just around this corner, you will find the Hufflepuff common rooms. As to how to get inside I suggest you follow your peers after lunch and ask them to show you how to get inside. I would demonstrate, alas I am quite notorious for being unable to perform certain actions needed to enter the rooms. I would prefer not to lose my dignity unless it's absolutely necessary,“ Gwen spoke and gestured towards the barrels.

„I wonder did any of your relatives attend Hogwarts?“ Hannah asked after they resumed their trek and Gwen was about to shake her head and decline the notion when the list in the trophy room entered her head again.

„As far as I'm concerned I am muggleborn. However, I stumbled across a Gwendolyn Kershaw just last night. Apparently she was Hogwarts' very first Head Girl. It is quite curious but I suppose it's pure coincidence even if I could swear I saw that list before and the name certainly hadn't been present before. But well... you will find Hogwarts has many secrets. Did I tell you about the ever-changing floor plan which was designed by Rowena Ravenclaw herself? While history is unclear as to why she thought it was necessary, certain theories include...“

„ _Evil. That's what she is.“ Gwen looked at Eleanor while taking deep and steady breaths to try and recover from the sprint they had just absolved._

„ _I don't think she's truly evil. Strict, yes but not evil,“ Gwen mused and skidded around another corner in an effort to try and lessen the severity of the punishment which was undoubtedly waiting for them._

„ _Moving stairs? Which are almost guaranteed to make you run late for class? If that's not evil then I don't know what is,“ Eleanor insisted and Gwen had to give her that. She had doubted the necessity of said stairs ever since she had come to Hogwarts two months before. The very first generation of students and truth be told, Gwen was hopelessly in love with the castle already. The stairs? Not so much._

„ _Let's call it an evil stroke of a mad genius. But... Eleanor... isn't this where the classroom is supposed to be?“ Gwen asked and stared at a blank wall where she could have sworn their room had been when they had been shown around the castle._

„ _Well yes. That is unless the rooms move too...,“ Eleanor trailed off, looked at Gwen and both groaned loudly._

„ _This is an official lesson with Professor Ravenclaw and we're late because everything in this castle keeps moving! One ought to nail it in place. Least that's what my father would do...,“ Eleanor grumbled and huffed indignantly before looking around and probably trying to figure out what exactly they were supposed to do. Gwen in the meanwhile opened one of the books she had taken from the library and searched the pages until she found what she was looking for._

„ _...this spell requires an innate ability to concentrate on whatever destination you seek. Put forth the thought to the very front of your mind and speak the incantation. If done correctly, a white light will erupt from the caster's wand and point them towards their target,“ Gwen read aloud and then drew her wand._

„ _You think that'll work?“ Eleanor asked and Gwen merely shrugged._

„ _It might not but what else can we do? Now... illucaris,“ she recited and actually jumped in surprise when a beam of light traveled from her wand directly into the wall opposite of them._

„ _Well that's great, isn't it. Did you do the thinking part properly?“ Eleanor asked sarcastically and Gwen furrowed her brows and checked the page again._

„ _Well, I was thinking of Professor Ravenclaw. Can that be counted as a destination?“ she retorted with narrowed eyes and watched Eleanor draw her wand and repeat the incantation only to see the same light pointing towards the bare wall._

„ _Do you think this is a trick? Just like the stairs?“ Eleanor asked and Gwen bit her lip before closing the book on a hunch and pointing her wand at the wall._

„ _Finite Incantatem!“ she exclaimed and actually jumped a little when suddenly a doorframe appeared from nothing as if a veil had been lifted._

„ _Moving staircases, relocating rooms and invisible classrooms. If someone tells me the whole morning was some sort of gauntlet I will eat my hat,“ Eleanor murmured and as if on cue the door swung open and they both entered the room only to find Professor Ravenclaw in front of her desk, hands clasped in front of her body and eyeing the both of them._

„ _I do hope you have enough spices to go with the hat, Miss Huntington. Congratulations to the both of you; you're the first pair to have passed the test.“ Gwen and Eleanor turned to stare at one another, the latter decisively paler than the former._

„ _You demonstrated good use of the waypoint spell although a human detection charm would have been more reliable. You will both read up on it and demonstrate its proper use tomorrow morning. Dismissed,“ the tall witch declared and after standing still for a few heartbeats, Eleanor turned around and Gwen followed her, eyes already back on the book to try and find the spell their teacher had mentioned when the cool and detached voice held her back:_

_„On second thought a word, Miss Kershaw.“ Gwen sent Eleanor a worried look and then turned around to go back into the classroom whose doors shut and disappeared with a wave of Ravenclaw's hand. She truly, truly hated being alone with her which luckily didn't happen often. Not because she disliked her or found no joy in being taught by her, quite the opposite. It was just that she was tall, exceedingly tall for a woman and austere, noble, beautiful and most importantly, frighteningly intelligent. Whenever she looked at Gwen, she wanted to curl into a corner and close her eyes until her gaze passed on. Doing so now would make her look like a right moron._

„ _I noticed that you hardly ever speak up in class,“ she stated and Gwen flinched slightly, eyes firmly set on the ground._

„ _Yet I cannot remember having taught you the general dispelling spell. I planned for students to use the revealing charm and ask for entrance,“ Ravenclaw added and Gwen silently wondered if perhaps she shouldn't have followed her hunch after all. Her tone was as impassive as always and not scolding but it was impossible to read the woman or know what she was thinking. Gwen had often wondered what her mind had to look like. Probably like the most beautiful and complex collection of tightly-knit thoughts connected to each other in intricate patterns._

„ _I'm sorry. I will learn the spell before I head to dinner,“ she promised meekly and clutched her book close to her chest every inch of her wishing to be somewhere else._

„ _I noticed you carry that book everywhere you go. Just how far have you taken your independent studies?“ the woman now asked and Gwen flushed furiously, trying to hide behind auburn curls._

„ _I- I tried all of the spells. I can do most of them. Expect the summoning charm. I can't do that,“ she spoke hastily and jumped in surprise when something could be heard knocking from the other end of the wall._

„ _You have a certain fondness for charms then?“ the professor asked, completely ignorant of the students who could be heard bickering on the other end of the wall._

„ _No, ma'am. I have a fondness for magic,“ Gwen answered with a tentative smile and saw something in the teacher's face she couldn't quite place._

Humming to herself quietly, Gwen rested on the chaise of the room with her knees close to her body, a book propped on her knees. Several candles floated around mid air and shed enough light on the pages to make them readable. The only sound was that of pages being turned occasionally as well as the soft melody of an enchanted harp that played by itself on the windowsill. Gwen had shed her proper attire long ago and lounged about in a simple undershirt and the skirt which was part of the uniform. Taking a sip of water from a glass which was placed on the table next to the couch, Gwen turned the next page and smiled as the plot she had been aching for finally unfolded when a voice disturbed her peace:

„Miss Kershaw, there are two students wishing to speak to you.“ Looking to her left she was met with the image of Kelly Creston, an image of the woman whose portrait guarded the entrance to the head dorms.

„Are they female?“ Gwen asked, taking a look at her inappropriate attire and upon receiving a nod, closed the book with a sigh and placed it on the table.

„Let them in, please, “ she said and Kelly disappeared just as the portrait swung to the side and Gwen got off the couch. She had expected a handful of things, honestly. Hannah and Regina, the two transfers with books in their hands and a small basket of somethings had not been one of them.

„Miss Hastings, Miss Redcliff. How may I help you?“ Gwen asked and noted with some sort of relief that the headache didn't make a spectacular return as she had thought it would.

„We tried to study you see but everywhere we went, we were overrun by students who were either talking about the ball, their dates or their dresses. We wondered if you could tell us of a rather secluded spot where we can find a bit of quiet,“ Hannah explained and Gwen could sympathise. It was horrible lately and since she didn't intend to actively attend the ball outside of the duties she had to perform, the whole chaos got to her as well.

„Madam Pince has not banned them from the library?“ she asked with a raised brow. The strict librarian would not stand for loud giggling or gushing in her sanctuary and despite that or perhaps because of that, she and Gwen had always gotten along splendidly to the point where she had received a pass for the restricted section. Gwen had positively glowed at the trust the woman had placed in her and only made use of it as long as it benefitted her schoolwork.

„She closed it down,“ Hannah offered helplessly and Gwen sighed once before quietly resigning to her fate. Sometimes she could curse Professor Dumbledore for having her offered this position.

„If you promise to be quiet you might as well stay here. Logan's gone off to bed already and I'm just reading a little,“ Gwen spoke with what she hoped was a friendly smile. If the absolute tiredness she felt was shining through she'd only blame herself for it later.

„We wouldn't intrude on your privacy,“ Regina declared and Gwen only laughed quietly before returning back to the couch and spreading her legs as she picked up the book again.

„A bit too late for that, don't you think? You might as well stay here. I can offer you two hours then I'll retire,“ Gwen explained and looked through the pages until she found where she'd left off.

„Thanks a lot. Really, we truly appreciate it,“ Hannah said with an audible smile and got comfortable on the floor, spreading out the books all around her and fishing a little something from the insides of the basket.

„I told you she'd help,“ she muttered quietly to Regina who sunk to the ground with far more grace than her friend and organised her own reading.

„Stop gloating, Hannah. It ill-becomes you,“ she responded and Gwen from then on zoned out. If they were studying in quiet or talking to each other she didn't know. Completely immersed in her book she didn't notice how the two other girls occasionally snuck looks at her or leaned together a little more closely to communicate in hushed whispers.

„Ah! What is this! A pajama party I was not invited to? Woe! Lamentation! Is this the end for poor Logan?!“ That caught Gwen and she looked up only to be faced with a shirtless Logan whose hair was all over the place and who clearly wasn't prepared to encounter more than just Gwen who was very well used to his shirtlessness by now.

„Logan, dear? Shirt. We have guests,“ Gwen sniped pointedly and turned another page of her book, noting with satisfaction that for once he actually listened. Too bad he came back just ten seconds later.

„Admit it Gwenny darling, you just want to keep my smashing good looks to yourself, “ Logan said with a grin and let himself fall on the couch, forcing Gwen to retract her feet with an irritated frown.

„We have established a comfortable quiet here, Logan. Do be a dear and try not to ruin it as you usually do,“ she replied, eyes never leaving the book and placing a solid kick into the boy's side when he made an attempt to tickle her feet.

„She just acts though. She loves me, truly. I'm Logan by the way. Who're you?“ the brunette asked and poked his finger against one of the candles just to hiss when it toppled and a few drops of the wax caught the bit of skin that was not protected by the shirt.

„I'm Hannah and that's Regina. We're transfer students,“ Hannah explained and recognition dawned on Logan's face.

„Right. Sorry I missed your tour. I was quite busy trying to assess the shape of our Quidditch team. Won the cup four years in a row I'll have you know,“ he bragged and Gwen rolled her eyes as she turned another page, preparing to completely give up her reading in a foreseeable future.

„Logan, they don't care. They came to study. In quiet. You are bad for the quiet,“ she pointed out as bluntly as possible and briefly closed her eyes as the headache came back full force. Yes, she thought. Trust Logan to disrupt the peace.

„You know, everyone thinks you're so nice and helpful all the time. Someone should tell the general public you can only be that way because you're mean to me when no one's looking.“ Logan pouted and Gwen closed her eyes with a sigh and put the book back on the table.

„If you spent only half of your time actually doing your duties instead of either taking a different girl to your rooms every night, getting drunk in the Gryffindor common room, playing fetch with the thrice-damned squid, or instigating violence against Filch because you've never liked him then I would have little to no reason to ever criticise or snap at you,“ Gwen ranted angrily and took her book and got off the couch, positively stomping towards her quarters.

„Seriously Logan, I have ten N.E.W.T's to study for, all of our combined duties to do and no time to myself and I swear I am so close to becoming homicidal if I miss even one dose of my calming draught. And now flock off and stop annoying the only two sensible students we currently have and go _back_ to _bed_!“ she hissed with one last angry look at Logan before taking a deep breath and giving Hannah and Regina an honest albeit strained smile.

„Please, stay for as long as you like. Just... try not to violate the curfew,“ she added before disappearing into her rooms, carelessly throwing the book into a corner and almost instantly falling asleep as soon as her body hit her bed.

_It painted quite the comical picture; a young girl with deep auburn hair slumped over a book in the library in the dead of the night, fingers on her own notes and ink smeared all across her forehead. Gwen could appreciate it if she had been awake to see it – and wasn't the girl in question. As it was she had spent hours studying the essence of non-verbal casting with varying degrees of success which could be translated into 'none at all'. She had scribbled down notes, copied entire passages of text which were supposed to aid her but to no avail. She was good at theories but not quite as good at actual wandwork. An issue she would have to remedy. But then again she was currently asleep and made quite the pitiful impression so any thoughts concerning her workload and lack of success weren't currently at the top of her list of things to worry about._

_Not when she dreamed about the rain which had gained self-awareness and drove the inhabitants of the Evergreen (ever raining) Glades into madness. When another person entered the library with a stack of books floating after her tall and willowy form, she didn't wake up either. Neither did she when she was addressed quietly, then firmly, then with touch. It took a total of ten books slamming down on the desk to rouse Gwen from her slumber and when she did, it was with a cry of surprise, followed by some flailing and ended with her lying on the floor and rubbing her head in agony._

„What the _...,“ Gwen groaned quietly in the tongue of her home and blinked to try and see something through the blur clouding her sight. There was someone standing in front of her but other than tall and thin she had no idea who it was. What time was it anyway?_

„ _It is way past midnight and as such, you should be asleep in your dorms and not in the library.“ That voice she would recognise anywhere. As such, Gwen scrambled off the floor and shook her head in an attempt to get rid of any leftover dizziness and immediately started gathering her notes._

„ _I apologise. I was so engrossed in my studies and I- I didn't even notice I fell asleep,“ she admitted with great embarrassment and in her hurry got her elbow to connect to a bottle of ink which landed on the stone floor and shattered, coating its surroundings in a deep black colour. Gwen jumped in surprise and launched into another apology while looking for a wand and upon finding it, muttering a quiet 'Evanesco'._

„ _I heard that you are starting to fall behind in your potions class. You should concentrate on keeping up instead of attempting magic that's not yet required of you,“ Ravenclaw spoke evenly and Gwen flushed furiously and kept her head low as she moved the books into stacks to take with her back to the dorms._

„ _I'm not falling behind. Not really,“ she murmured but apparently the quiet around them had sufficed and her teacher had picked up on her words._

„ _Oh? I imagine Professor Slytherin was just imagining your lack of coursework and essays over the past few weeks then,“ Ravenclaw said and Gwen cringed slightly at her tone. She had deserved that one for getting cheeky._

„ _To me falling behind implicates a lack of understanding or no grasp of the material at hand. My potion brewing is good. At least I think so. Professor Slytherin is very vocal about mistakes. And as for my written work... I got it covered. Most of it. It takes a strong third after my charms studies and a journey into human transformation. I'm clumsy and keep making an idiot out of myself. Cats keep their balance with tails and I wondered if an appendix like that might come in handy for a human. It will require a bit of experimentation of course but I think I have the theoretical aspect of it down and all I need is-“ Gwen rambled until she felt the intensity of the look she was given which caused her to seek eye contact and promptly fall silent. Right. Professor Ravenclaw didn't like too much unnecessary talking._

„ _If I ever in all my years have seen someone clearly getting ahead of themselves, it was you. We follow a strict curriculum and you should trust us to know what we are doing. Connecting as you do is not necessarily bad but if you delve into completely different and unrelated fields of magic all at once you will not get satisfactory results in any of them. One fleeting look over your collection of books shows me that you try to take on non-verbal spells, advanced transfiguration, charms, and even usage of the Dark Arts all at once none of which are suitable for a girl of fourteen years,“ the austere woman lectured her and Gwen gulped audibly, fingers kneading the hem of her shirt and eyes cast downwards._

„ _I'm sorry,“ she mumbled weakly and hated how meek and small she made her feel. She could be two heads smaller instead of taller than her and would still tower above her in the most impressive manner._

_„Why do you feel the need to disregard the curriculum in favour of your personal studies? You could do that without attending Hogwarts,“ the raven-haired woman added and Gwen looked up with a gasp and pure shock running across her features._

„ _Are you going to expel me?“ she asked fearfully, mind already racing with possibilities, everything she could do to try and deter her from that course of action-_

„ _Don't be ridiculous. Your oddities aside you are my most promising student. Naturally, that makes you the most promising student of the entire school,“ she replied haughtily and Gwen wasn't sure whether that was meant as a compliment or not so she decided to keep quiet. Always a good idea around the strict professor._

„ _It's just... I have seven years, Professor. That's nothing. I'm already three into it and learning all I want to learn is impossible! Once I finish my schooling I will have to go back home and for what? To get painted with green runes and dance in the moonlight because I'm part of a druidic circle! Anything past innate and naturalistic magic as well as lunar and stellar studies are things I might as well completely forget about. I NEED to make the most of my time here, I just can't wait until I'm actually supposed to learn these things,“ Gwen explained and gestured wildly, desperately trying to get her point across. But then again her teacher stemmed from an old, established, and extremely powerful noble family. As their only daughter, she probably had no means to relate to her. Didn't mean she couldn't try._

„ _I expect to see you hand Professor Slytherin the required essays at the end of the week,“ Ravenclaw stated with a clipped tone and Gwen knew she had lost. So she sighed, resigned to her fate and nodded obediently. Flicking her wand and murmuring the levitation charm she got her books to lift up into the air so she could easily get them to her rooms._

_„And I expect you in my office first thing tomorrow morning. To discuss your availability for private tutoring,“ she added as an after-thought and Gwen's eyes shot back to meet her dark blue ones and her disbelief had to show on her face for Ravenclaw merely raised an eyebrow._

„ _I... yes, Professor. Thank you... truly“ Gwen whispered stunned and bowed once before leaving the library. Only then did the reality of the situation catch up to her and her heart threatened to break as joy the likes of which she never experienced before ran through her veins and set her mind on fire. Professor Ravenclaw had always been her favourite but now she had claimed a spot in Gwen's heart that she wouldn't ever have to share with anyone else for as long as Gwen lived._

Rubbing her head and squinting at the light, Gwen yawned once before opening the door of her rooms and lumbering into the common area. Logan was almost certainly asleep and thus she wasn't afraid of possibly being caught in what could only be described as lingerie. Merlin be her witness she was wearing her uniform all day every day for months to no end and due to her chaperoning duties also opted to wear it when she went to Hogsmeade. If she wanted to feel pretty at least once in a while it was her good right to do so in the safety of her own rooms. After all it was just a black nylon undershirt with spaghetti straps, strategically placed transparent lace and matching panties. The downside was that if anyone were to ever see her she would die from mortification (the neckline was so low it barely provided coverage for her – if she might say so herself – incredibly generous chest) but on the upside, it was incredibly comfortable to sleep in.

It was slightly chilly but the cardigan she had pulled from the deepest depths of her wardrobe was remedy enough and so Gwen laid down on the couch and pulled her book form the nearby table, a wave of her wand lowering the intensity of the lights to a more tolerable level. She had no idea how late it was but haunted by her dreams she hadn't been able to sleep no matter how hard she tried. So she might as well continue reading her favourite novel. The title 'Summer of 1245' was innocent enough and deterred most from its actual contents for which Gwen was more than grateful. Truly nobody needed to know that she enjoyed fictional romances between rich noblewomen and young, innocent commoner girls. It was peculiar, sure, but a fascination she had never come around to shake off.

She had grown up with ordinary muggle foster parents in an ordinary home in an ordinary suburb. She had gotten along with her mother as well as her father and when she got older and her mother started asking her about boys in her life, Gwen had just replied that she was too busy with studying. Which, to be fair, was absolutely true. However, she had come around to notice that while everyone around her started to look after boys, talk about boys or go on dates with boys she had never so much as looked at them twice – unless they caused trouble that is. But then, she had never looked at girls either. The only time she had ever had a 'fancy' as she would call it was her first day of Arithmancy and her first meeting with Professor Vector. Infamous for her strict demeanor, impossibly high expectations and striking beauty despite her advanced age Gwen had felt the immediate urge to please her as much as she could.

She had worked day and night to receive a little bit of praise or the smallest hint of a smile. Once she had dreamed of her in a way that was not at all excusable and ever since Gwen had done her best to suppress these urges and instead concentrated on her studies and her books. The fact that Professor Vector hailed from an old pureblood family and was as haughty as she was icy had made ignoring her increasingly difficult. Gwen would have never openly admitted to having a 'type', but Vector nailed it in all the right places. So Gwen fought tooth and nail to ban these thoughts from her head and the sheer iron will she had become notorious for had proved itself an invaluable ally. During class, she concentrated on class and when talking to her teacher, did just that. No funny thoughts, nothing. And she would never disrespect her by thinking of her in the confines of her bedroom. No no no, Gwen was going to stay celibate until she graduated. Perhaps then Vector could be approached in a more than just professional manner. Who knew, truly.

That was when Gwen was torn from her musings by a sound. Not quite trusting her ears because it was so faint and far away, she held her breath and waited for it to come back. It did. A scratching noise from the other side of the portrait. Placing her book away and drawing her wand, she wished Kelly was still up to tell her what was waiting on the other side but as it was, the portrait was asleep. Very cautiously Gwen tapped the back of the image and it swung to the side, revealing something that caused Gwen to drop her wand. One of the first years, a Hufflepuff half stood, half leaned against the wall and clutched her arm. The blouse of her uniform was covered in blood which dripped down her hand and onto the floor. Life surged back into Gwen's bones and she immediately thought of the moment in which she had first looked at the Head Girl badge as she bowed down to retrieve her wand and kept that memory firmly in mind.

„Expecto Patronum!“ she spoke clearly and watched the strands of light which streamed from her wand mold themselves into a ghostly lioness.

„Go to Madam Pomfrey and tell her I found one of the students, covered in blood and I'm taking her to the hospital ward,“ Gwen instructed the patronus who gave a singular nod and sprinted off towards the healer's quarters, its paws making no sound as it ran through the halls. Gwen pulled the cardigan from her form and wrapped it around the girl's arm from where the blood seemed to come.

„Hold on tight, okay? We're going to the hospital ward,“ she whispered into the pale girl's ear who seemed to be affected by the blood loss quite heavily. Not shedding her attire another thought, Gwen bowed down and picked up the girl, briefly swaying under the weight but bit her lip and closed the portrait with her foot. There was no time to get Logan. As quickly as possible she hurried through the corridors and silently thanked Merlin that her rooms were on the same floor as Madam Pomfrey. As she ran she kept looking at the girl and tried to ignore the warm liquid that trickled down her own body as she made sure the arm was pressed close to her body and the cardigan provided as much protection as possible.

„Madam Pomfrey? Madam Pomfrey!“ Gwen cried out as she was still one corridor away but didn't worry about accidentally waking up someone else. She heard a rustling sound, a door opening, and closing, and then already brushed past the elderly woman who came out of her quarters dressed in a nightgown.

„She's bleeding,“ was all Gwen managed to breathe before placing the girl on one of the beds and retrieving the cardigan so the mediwitch could inspect the wound. Now that she saw it for the first time, she felt sick. A clean long cut from the crook of her arm all the way to the artery. Pressing her hand to cover her mouth, Gwen moved back and out of Pomfrey's way and sat down on the bed next to her, feeling slight vertigo. The healer worked quickly and coaxed the girl into drinking two potions, one to make her fall asleep and the other to work on replenishing the blood she lost.

„Send for Professor Sprout,“ she instructed Gwen who slowly nodded in a daze and conjured another patronus, telling this one to run to the teacher's quarters and notify her of the injured student. In the meanwhile Pomfrey had started healing the cut, drawing the tip of her wand along the wound and chanting quietly. Gwen slung her arms around herself and only then noticed that she had a majority of the girl's blood on her own body and shuddered violently. The first thing she wanted to do was to shower but she would refuse to leave the girl even if the healer started to threaten her. Which she would eventually. After another five minutes of quiet chanting and Gwen watching her silently, she heard a set of bustling feet and watched the small and stout Herbology professor rushing into the medical ward in a similarily old-fashioned gown that Pomfrey wore.

„Miss Kershaw, what is-“ she began but fell silent upon spotting the pale girl and immediately bustled closer on the other side which was not currently occupied by the healer and came to a stand next to Gwen.

„Please, explain,“ the Hufflepuff whispered and Gwen rubbed down her arm in a harried movement, flexing her fingers awkwardly and wishing she could clean herself.

„I was still up and reading when... there was a... sort of scratching noise coming from outside the portrait. I opened it and there she stood. Completely drenched in her own blood. I sent a patronus to Madam Pomfrey. Told her I would come and bring a hurt student,“ she spoke hollowly, absent-mindedly scratching the spots where she was bloodied until Professor Sprout gently took hold of her hands.

„I assume she will sleep a while. Come with me. Let's get you cleaned up,“ the teacher murmured and Gwen allowed her to lead her away, glad that someone else took over for her.

„She didn't even say anything. She was so close to passing out... I had to carry her,“ Gwen mumbled and didn't notice how she leaned into the smaller teacher who in turn slung an arm around her middle seeing as her shoulders were too high and patted her comfortingly. If there was anything Hufflepuffs were naturals at, it was taking care of others.

„You did your duty admirably. You thought quick and that probably saved her life. Now you will come to my office where you can wash yourself and have a cup of tea with me. Then we can go back to Poppy and see if young Tracey woke up,“ Sprout spoke calmly and Gwen found herself nodding, not actually listening to the woman's words. Tracey. The girl was called Tracey. She hoped she could come around to talk to her.

„Pomona?“ The voice made Gwen look up and automatically shrink into herself. None other than Vector with Regina, the transfer student by her side and both of them eyed Gwen with the exact same expression of neutrality. Here she was, shaken, pale, covered in blood that was not her own, running into the two people she right now wanted to see the least.

„Later, Septima. Later,“ was all Sproutsy said and then continued to lead Gwen all the way to her rooms where Gwen waited until she was shown the bathroom before undressing and drowning her tears underneath the showerhead.

„ _Sooo, Gwen? Who will you be taking to the solstice festivities?“ Gwen looked up from her book and stared at Eleanor and Ophelia for a moment before shrugging once and returning to a most fascinating text about advanced charmwork. Professor Ravenclaw had given that book to her, one among many, and she planned to read it within the next day or two so she could give it back quickly. Ravenclaw was brilliant, no doubt about that, but sometimes forgot that she had given a particular book to Gwen and then proceeded to cause quite the dignified uproar searching for it. She had started to read the books as quickly as possible as to avoid a repetition of that one noon where Ravenclaw had threatened to hex Gryffindor until he gave her back her first edition volume. Gwen had been too scared to give it back herself and instead placed it onto her desk as sneakily as possible. She still thought Gryffindor had put it there and never quite forgiven him for allegedly taking it._

„ _What about Geoffrey? He seems quite taken with you.“ Sarah giggled conspiratorially and for the fraction of a second Gwen wondered why she was friends with these people._

„ _Or Thomas. He comes from a good family,“ Eleanor suggested and Gwen sighed once before trying to make her point once and for all. She didn't expect it to work but she could always try._

„ _I'm not going, actually. I have a whole batch of reading to do,“ she said and knew that it was the worst possible thing she could have possibly said. Ever._

„ _But... but it's solstice! A whole day where we're allowed to do what we want! With boys! And you want to read?!“ Ophelia exclaimed dramatically and Gwen sighed again, wishing she was anywhere else but here. Even a dragon's hoard would be better than this._

„ _I heard Professor Ravenclaw won't attend either,“ Sarah threw in and Gwen was not at all surprised. Nothing could take that woman from an opportunity to spend a whole day bowed over texts, scrolls and conduct her (infamous) experiments. And all that without having to watch children as Hufflepuff and Gryffindor traditionally took all responsibility for festivals. Professor Slytherin tended to do pretty much as same as Ravenclaw which was to hide in his domain, free and hidden from the general madness and be happy and content with his own research._

„ _Well that's good. Perhaps one reclusive bookworm can ask the other to accompany her to the festivities and then they can both sulk in a corner and be miserable together,“ Eleanor almost drawled and Gwen knew it would be in vain to protest, tell her to be more respectful or tell her she was being ridiculous. The Gods had a way of punishing people like Eleanor._

„ _For that display of disrespect for both your teacher and your fellow student, it will be you who will sulk in a corner as you will not be attending the dance, Miss Huntington.“ And there was the rightful intervention, taking the shape of one angry Professor Hufflepuff who had appeared behind the group like a ghost._

„ _But... But I-,“ Eleanor spluttered and while Gwen would never feel good about her friend receiving a punishment she had clearly called for, she did feel smug. Just a tiny little bit. She was tired of being belittled all the time for preferring books and even though that wasn't ever said out loud, Professor Ravenclaw's company to that of everything or everyone else. She was intelligent, a genius, a mastermind and while Gwen knew all her students looked up to her, perhaps not always as admired as she should be. She did have that scary streak which sent even grown men running (Gryffindor) and if her temper was truly and honestly tried, was not above drawing her wand and cursing the offender silly (Gryffindor) as well as never ever backing down from an argument, hammering through every single counter argument with the logic she prided herself in, leaving her opponent in despair (again, Gryffindor)._

_Not to mention what happened when someone mistreated her books or took them somewhere else to read in silence thus making them unavailable for the tall witch. Truly, of all the horrors and dangers of Hogwarts and its surroundings, even Slytherin's sinister ways paled next to a Ravenclaw whose fiendfyre-like wrath had been invoked. All that aside, an angry Hufflepuff was very well able (and probably the only one) who could hold a candle to Ravenclaw in terms of general scariness. Her wrath came in quiet, sneaking up until it consumed whoever had angered her._

„ _Miss Kershaw? A word if you please.“ Gwen froze and very slowly looked into warm brown eyes that didn't seem to promise imminent doom, but still her hand shook as she picked up her book and got off the grass, following Hufflepuff to whatever destination she was leading her._

„ _You look positively frightened. Do not worry, you have done nothing to warrant a stern lecture,“ she spoke calmly and Gwen relaxed. Not a lot but a little. A little was better than nothing at all._

„ _I just wanted a nice and quiet walk in the gardens and wondered if you would like to accompany me?“ Hufflepuff asked politely and Gwen wasn't sure whether she should voice the thoughts she was having. Ravenclaw preferred honesty as long as one knew which issues to skirt around but she didn't have enough experience with Hufflepuff to judge her. Well then, trial and error it was._

„ _That sounds very ominous,“ she stated bluntly and when the blonde at her side laughed heartily, let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding. Hufflepuff = blunt. Gwen would make sure to remember that._

„ _It's nothing to be afraid of, I promise. I know you are one of Rowena's students which, as much as I love and respect her, undoubtedly comes with a certain... lack of education in a very certain field,“ Hufflepuff started and Gwen truly had no idea where she was going with this. Or whether she even wanted to know._

„ _People, dear Gwendolyn. Rowena is brilliant at most things and she makes it look so wonderfully easy, doesn't she?“ the older woman mused and privately, Gwen agreed. She practically oozed the ease with which she invented new spells, understood the most complex of arithmetic concepts or recited passages from books she hadn't picked up in over twenty years._

„ _However, place her in any given social situation and it's nothing but a disaster waiting to happen. I learned that the hard way,“ Hufflepuff spoke and Gwen felt like she shouldn't be present to hear these things. Why was she given what sounded like a crash course in Ravenclaw anyway?_

_„What I am trying to tell you is that ever since you came here you've been strongly attached to her which is not a bad thing. However... did you notice that you're starting to turn into her?“ Gwen couldn't help but snort at the words. It took her a second to notice that that had probably not been the most polite thing to do and as such tried to turn it into a cough – and failed._

_„If you don't mind a slight correction; I admire her thus I strive to be like her. Only far, far inferior to her,“ Gwen stated and stumbled over a stray root, almost falling to the ground. Sending the root a death glare she straightened again and held the book just a little closer to her chest._

„ _It's good to have someone to look up to but that shouldn't stop you from recognising their flaws. You spend most of your free time in the library and don't think I do not know that today is the first time in three weeks that you went outside. You rarely speak to your friends which is why I imagine your relationship has become strained, hasn't it? While I respect your wish to not attend the dance, I strongly encourage you to go anyway. Have a little fun and perhaps you will find joy in doing the things girls your age love to do,“ Hufflepuff finished good-naturedly but Gwen couldn't help but ever so slightly resent her for her words._

„ _My friends make fun of me because I like reading more than sitting in the sun and just talking about things. It's true that I wish I could be like Professor Ravenclaw but I know that's not going to happen. I didn't get accepted as her student because I am intelligent but because I have a will to learn and study and the unyielding determination to see it through. 'Where knowledge is the surest', isn't that what she said? It's not all about being gifted and I... hate... that I am being ridiculed for doing what we all came here to do. I've come to expect that speech and the jabs from my friends, but really not from a teacher. I thought you, out of all people, would understand. Now if you'll excuse me, I have three books to read before Professor Ravenclaw forgets she gave them to me and gets mad about their absence.“_

The morning was marked with a very unpleasant surprise. Gwen had contemplated not getting up. She didn't need breakfast. She had easy access to the kitchens and the house elves adored her so there was that. Until someone and it could only be Logan, decided to haul their fists against her door.

„Gwenny darling, wakey wakey!“ he called loudly and she was sorely tempted to open the door and send him right on the floor with a few nasty hexes.

„Flock off!“ A close second and much better than getting into trouble for hexing her follow Head Boy. He was too good at putting on a show. Probably swallowed a jar of liquid melodrama as a child.

„I would but alas Professor Sprout was quite adamant I make sure you come to breakfast. Presentable, preferably. Though those were her words and not mine and if you do not cooperate I will grab you and carry you to the Great Hall, showing everyone your love for scandalously skimpy lingerie,“ Logan threatened through the door and Gwen wordlessly grabbed her wand and held it close to her body just preparing for the moment he would open the door. She had been doing fine enough the past week. She went to class, handed in her assignments and did her duties without reproach. The only places she avoided like the plague were the hospital ward and the Great Hall. News, as they always did, had spread quicker than a wildfire and she truly didn't want to face a thousand eyes looking at her and people approaching to try and get more information... a right nightmare, all of it. Screw professionalism.

„You can try to take me naked as I am but you won't live to see the outsides of our rooms for one last time,“ Gwen replied in kind and almost growled her words. Here she was, so hard to actually anger but he had done it. As he always did.

„Naked, you say? Weeeeeell, Sprout can wait for you one more day. Would you let me in for a decidedly more fun activity?“ Logan asked and Gwen could see his waggling eyebrows despite there being a door between them.

„I don't know. Would I?“ Gwen retorted quietly and heard Logan's laugh echoing around the common room.

„You should,“ he affirmed and Gwen merely got back beneath the sheets and closed her eyes, wand forgotten on the mattress.

„Just leave me be, Logan. Go to Sprout and tell her that I do eat enough; the elves are very helpful in that regard. On the same note, you might as well inform her that she is not my head of house and as such does not hold as much authority over me as she currently enforces. I haven't slept well. I will arrive in time for my classes. I do my job. That's all she can expect of me. And now let me rest.“ There was a long silence and Gwen closed her eyes, endlessly relieved to have a respite. Logan rarely listened to her which made the few times he did, even sweeter.

It was then that the door more or less flew open and weary Gwen grabbed her wand, ready to hex Logan into next week when she was met by a cheerful face, framed by honey blonde looks that she certainly had not expected.

„Hannah?“ she asked incredulously and noticed how the door closed again without Logan hell-bent on ruining one bad day in a series of awful days. The Hufflepuff went to the window and opened the curtains, causing Gwen to yowl quietly at being assaulted by the light and cover her eyes with her hand.

„I'm your escort to breakfast. Professor Sprout did ask Logan to do so but you forgot I was present during the last time you two spoke to each other and told her it would perhaps be better to ask one of your friends. That list came up rather short and thus I decided to be your friend and take care of this,“ the blonde explained while actually rifling through her wardrobe and pulling a fresh set of uniform from its insides which she threw on the bed and stared at Gwen with her hands on her hips, waiting for her to do as she said.

„I am head girl. You are a transfer student. Care to explain why again you think you can boss me around?“ she asked crankily and blindly reached for a set of underwear Hannah had thrown her too. If she was surprised to see nothing but expensive lingerie she didn't comment on it.

„Because you listen to me,“ was all she got and to her own surprise, Gwen noted that she actually did. As was evidenced by the fact that she was actually wearing underwear, having put them on with Hannah looking the other way.

„I don't see the point of going to the great hall and be placed in a given social situation which is nothing but a disaster waiting to happen,“ Gwen argued, buttoning her white blouse and reaching for the blue and bronze Ravenclaw tie.

„It's like... borrowing a book from Ravenclaw and not account for the fact that she will forget about it and then go on a rampage to find said book-“ Gwen ranted and stopped when she spotted Hannah's eyes on her, thin and narrowed as if she had gravely insulted her.

„What?“ she asked casually and continued putting on her uniform. Taking hold of her hair she twisted it into a bun which was bound to become loose sooner rather than later but Gwen couldn't find it within herself to care. Picking one of her quills she slid it between her auburn strands to act as a placeholder for the pin she'd usually use to keep her hair where it was supposed to be. Which was up at the back of her head and nowhere else.

„You know, you remind me of a girl I used to know. Very studious, kind and polite. Tried to do a thousand things at once and if the strain eventually became too much she would lash out but not without feeling incredibly sorry a few days later. It feels like a thousand years ago that I last saw her,“ Hannah spoke with an odd edge and Gwen looked at her with a puzzled expression. Why did she tell her that?

„I... you sound like you miss her,“ Gwen said carefully and took a look in the mirror, finding that there was hardly a thing about her appearance she could – or would want – to change. She looked good enough.

„She was pleasant around to be sure but if anyone misses her, it's Regina. She doesn't look the part but she loves fiercely and losing a kindred spirit wasn't easy for her. You could say that she ruined her. After that girl... nobody was able to measure up again.“ _Not even her own daughter_.

_She had successfully managed to evade all evils that could have tried to tie her up and just carry her to the feast, consequences be damned. Gwen quietly congratulated herself on her masterful use of the knowledge of the castle she had engrained into her brain and used to hide in a hidden-ish passageway behind a tapestry. Now on the way to the library she took solace in the fact that truly nobody was still around. A whole library. Just to herself. Because Ravenclaw would never dare leave her study. It was perfect._

„ _There you are.“_

_Until it wasn't. Gwen had a history of being scared of Professor Ravenclaw for a variety of reasons but it was not her voice that chilled Gwen to the bone. It was Hufflepuff's. Painfully slowly she turned around and did try to hide behind her book only to have it torn from her grasp while the teacher's second hand closed around her forearm._

„ _I had hoped my little speech would put some sense into you, but alas it hasn't. Which leaves me to take care of it. Again.“ The last word was barely audible and grumbled in a very unhappy tone which left Gwen wondering about the many irritating issues the professor had faced already. Usually, it took a very astounding amount of annoyances to make the Hufflepuff grumble to herself. Or, as Gwen began to think as they rounded a corner, perhaps it was just one annoyance. The worst of them all._

„ _Helga, I will have you know that you are being unreasonable,“ Professor Ravenclaw declared with a very unhappy look on her face. It was solstice and the only thing that truly seemed to go around was unhappiness. One more reason to just entirely avoid the festivities._

„ _I did not lock myself in my study and ward the door with a plethora of spells I invented myself, including a freeze-on-touch, a burn-your-hands-on-touch and a stun-on-touch charm. You truly have no qualms,“ Hufflepuff huffed and very unceremoniously clawed her free hand around Ravenclaw's arm, dragging her along in pretty much the same manner as Gwen._

„ _You will stop treating me like a child this instant,“ the tall witch hissed but Hufflepuff didn't seem to care all that much. It was then that Gwen noticed the witch was without her wand. Talk about having no qualms, she thought and resigned to simply shaking her head. She had braved five years in this institution and not yet seen everything there was to see._

„ _You two avoid the sun as if it was the plague. And ever since you started tutoring her, you've got one more excuse to not ever go outside! If anyone is being unreasonable it is the pair of you and it is driving me to insanity!“ Hufflepuff exclaimed as she dragged them along without a care in the world, her daily scuffle with more or less homicidal plants having gifted her with muscles neither of the other two females could fight against. One could argue that always carrying books around would have made either of them stronger but that was what levitation charms were for. And without her wand, Ravenclaw had no means of fighting back. She was brilliant and beautiful but for all that, still very willowy. If she had her wand on the other hand... on second thought, that was a sight Gwen didn't want to see. Not fond of violence and all that._

„ _You took my wand from me. You know I will never forgive you that,“ Ravenclaw threatened and Gwen gulped. She was caught in the crossfires and every fiber of her being wanted to be somewhere else. A dragon's lair perhaps? That seemed to be a recurring theme._

„ _You will enjoy yourself tonight and if it's the last thing I do!“ Hufflepuff declared and Gwen could have sworn she heard something along the lines of 'as soon as I get my wand, it will be' coming from the taller woman but decided she had just imagined it. That sounded better than the alternative._

„ _How can I enjoy myself knowing you stole my wand and developed your first not food-related charm just so you could put a dampener on me and render me completely unable to use wandless magic?“ Ravenclaw argued and Gwen's eyes widened considerably. She had not done that._

„ _I have your wand Rowena and you won't get back into your study until I've seen you smile in earnest just once. That's all I ask. Quit being so difficult,“ Hufflepuff said neutrally and Gwen could feel the fury radiating off the dark-haired witch. If any entity in this world had even the smallest shreds of mercy for her they ought to do something right about now. She did not want to witness her teacher losing her temper. All of it. That was when they exited the castle and had reached the courtyard which was where the festivities were taking place._

_Hufflepuff released both of them and Ravenclaw immediately turned on her heel and made an attempt to just walk back inside but the other teacher was having none of it and forced her back, fingers closing around a delicate wrist like handcuffs. Hufflepuff sent Gwen a leveled look who took a step backwards and then a second for good measure. She would cooperate. And she knew a chance when she saw one, having just spotted her friends dancing around a table with a couple of boys whose names she didn't now. So Gwen quickly excused herself and hurried towards them, ready to do anything in order to get away from the terrifying magnificence that had started occupying her mind more often than not lately._

„ _No way you crawled out of your hole!“ Eleanor exclaimed and Gwen actually cringed slightly before giving them a tentative smile and sitting down with the rest of them. Perhaps this wouldn't be so bad after all._

„ _Professor Hufflepuff forced me to. I see you got out of your punishment,“ Gwen answered and Eleanor nodded eagerly._

_„I did a lot of extra work but it's worth it. Now Gwen, this is Francis. One of Professor Slytherin's students and my companion for the dance. This is Zachary, he's Sarah's friend and this is Robert, he belongs to Ophelia. Don't worry we'll find you one soon enough,“ she babbled and Gwen truly hoped she wouldn't._

„ _You're one of Ravenclaw's too?“ Francis asked and Gwen nodded dutifully, already feeling a bit itchy. Perhaps Hufflepuff was right and she should spend more time with her friends. If she had this certainly wouldn't feel as awkward._

„ _Huh. My condolences,“ he offered and Gwen couldn't help but feel put out by that. Surely he didn't mean it?_

„ _She's a harpy, isn't she? Gwen has private tutoring and I don't know how she can stand her,“ Sarah agreed and Gwen honestly felt like she had missed something. Since when did they have these issues? Ravenclaw was an excellent teacher and highly intelligent company. Eleanor had liked her well enough just one year ago..._

„ _She and Hufflepuff are rather close. I sometimes wonder why,“ Ophelia mentioned and Gwen uncomfortably shifted in her seat. This was not getting any better._

„ _Slytherin seems to barely tolerate her. They have these arguments sometimes and honestly, how does she always think she's right? It's horrible,“ Zachary huffed and Gwen furrowed her brows._

„ _She usually is,“ she threw in because she felt like she had to say something. She was one of the teachers and to be respected! She respected Slytherin too even if she was less than fond of him. He just rubbed her the entirely wrong way._

„ _You only say that because you worship her,“ Eleanor pointed out and Gwen flushed instantly._

„ _I do not!“ she disagreed fiercely but that only made everyone else laugh. She didn't think she had something particularly funny._

„ _A cauldron could explode next to you and as long as she talks you wouldn't notice,“ Ophelia stated dryly and Gwen bit her lip, eyes cast down. A kingdom for a dragon hoard to hide in._

„ _Have you seen how Hufflepuff dragged her here? She looked like a child throwing a tantrum but she does that a lot. Woman can't control her own temper,“ Francis drawled and Gwen clenched her fists underneath the table._

„ _And look she's over there all by herself. No surprise there,“ Eleanor laughed and then Gwen decided it was enough and she wordlessly stood up and started walking towards Professor Ravenclaw only to halfway realise that her presence probably wouldn't be appreciated. The last thing the woman probably needed was a child going on her nerves even more than the whole ordeal itself did. So Gwen awkwardly stopped and searched for a space for her to hide in and breathed in relief when she spotted a single stone that was big enough to sit on. For lack of anything to do and with the wish to be somewhere else, Gwen mirthlessly picked a nearby branch and shut down her mind as she doodled into the dirt at her feet. It came as a surprise when she felt a touch on her shoulder and as such, Gwen flinched and looked up into the face of Ravenclaw herself._

„ _S- Sorry,“ she said immediately even though she didn't know exactly what she was apologising for._

„ _I was wondering whether you would be inclined to join me at my table to make better use of your time than you currently do. I do have a few essays of yours that I planned to discuss with you,“ the woman stated and Gwen blinked twice before jumping off the stone and nodding eagerly. She could go on her knees right now and pledge her life to her for saving her from hours of mind-numbing boredom. She followed her to the secluded table she had seen her sit at earlier and took the seat opposite her teacher. A wide smile spread on her face when Ravenclaw pulled stacks of parchment from the insides of her obviously magically expanded pocket and spread them on the table._

„ _Helga may be able to steal my wand but she will not steal my work. Or yours, for that matter,“ she explained and Gwen chuckled quietly, getting ready to chew every sentence of her essay twice as was the usual process they went through._

„ _I thought we might as well start with your parchment on the applications of self-transfiguration outside of animagus training-“ Ravenclaw started and Gwen quickly tried to remember everything she had written and if she herself knew of any weak spots so she could try and build an alternate solution in advance..._

„ _-and now we might as well move on. It was outstanding. I myself wouldn't change a word about it,“ the older woman said and Gwen felt her smile slide off her face._

„ _That can't be right,“ she murmured and leaned closer to read her own words as good as she could with them being turned towards the other woman and not her._

„ _You doubt me?“ Ravenclaw asked with a raised brow and apparently the alarmed expression on Gwen's face was enough to dismiss that claim without having to utter a single word._

„ _But... it can't be that good. I'm nowhere near you standards!“ Gwen mumbled almost frantically and now actually took hold of the parchments and looked at each individual sheet. Not one trace of her trademark sapphire ink. Not even a spelling error. Nothing._

„ _Of course you aren't. But you're catching up.“_

_Helga Hufflepuff who had just now spotted her own worst nightmare and the student she was teaching to be just like her being engrossed in something that had absolutely no place at the solstice festivities, had begun to walk towards them to set them straight when something made her stop dead in her tracks. It was Rowena. And she was smiling._

„Gwenny, you look so stunning I think someone might have stupefied me.“ Gwen felt the urge to roll her eyes but suppressed it and instead linked arms with Logan who escorted her down the stairs into the great hall. He, in comparison to her, had gotten an actual date and would enjoy the ball himself. Gwen had made it rather clear that she would attend to do her duty and not to have fun and as such got around the whole date thing. Since it was a tradition the head pair would open the ball with a dance she had more or less happily gotten into the dress her mother had insisted on buying. As to not play favourites Gwen had chosen a simple pastel cream with dark embroidery beneath her breasts and along her arms. The very generous neckline was something her mother had insisted on so she could finally bring a nice boy home. Gwen had decided not to argue and instead purchased a chiffon shawl to place around her shoulders and fastened it with a pin at the front. It didn't hide much but it was better than nothing.

„I hope you took our practise to heart, Logan. Don't forget that I have my wand with me,“ Gwen murmured lowly and smiled when Logan shifted uncomfortably. So he had planned to step on her feet at least once then. He was so predictable.

„If it comforts you I'm rather sure your feet won't be what people will look at,“ he stated jovially and Gwen frowned briefly before sighing once and making the decision to ignore that comment. Nothing good would come from taking it to heart or even replying.

„The announcement should come within the next two minutes. We will dance, you will not put on a show and then you can go and frolic all you want while I make sure nobody spikes the punch. Again,“ Gwen added dryly. Someone had managed to sneak in before the hall was even opened and poured a bottle of firewhiskey into the pink liquid. Luckily enough Professor Sinistra had helped herself to a glass and promptly noticed that something was not quite right. No matter how much Professor Hooch insisted that it was fine just the way it was.

„You're a killjoy, you know that?“ Logan asked and Gwen sent him a warm smile and comfortingly patted his arm as they listened the headmaster talk and waited to be called to the dance floor.

„Now, smile,“ Gwen instructed and together they stepped forward until they had reached the middle of the room. Logan placed his hand just a little too far down but a sharp glance from Gwen quickly made him adjust his hold on her. Then the music began to play and they settled into a polite and formal dance. They had spent the past week rehearsing the opening in the quiet of their rooms to make sure their dance wouldn't be a disaster.

„For claiming you didn't know how to dance you do it rather well“ Logan murmured and Gwen had to give him a point. She had been convinced that she couldn't dance but then again she never tried it before. Apparently she wasn't half bad at it. She could keep up easily with his pureblood grace and never once faltered or ran into the danger of losing sync.

„You know me, Logan. I live to impress,“ she stated haughtily and then laughed at his mollified expression.

„Careful there, Gwenny. You wouldn't want people to think you actually have fun and ruin your killjoy reputation,“ Logan warned with a cheeky smile and Gwen actually rolled her eyes before turning around her own axis and landing back in his grasp.

„For how long do they intend on making us dance?“ she asked. It felt like they had been dancing for forever now.

„I don't know. You helped organise the whole thing. You should know.“ Logan immediately shifted the responsibility to Gwen who clawed her nails into his arm for the briefest of moments and took great satisfaction in his wince.

„As long as your lady doesn't get jealous. Which one is it actually?“ Gwen asked with interest and looked around the crowd.

„The one currently sending you a death glare,“ he deadpanned and with that tidbit of information, it wasn't hard to find her. Death glare indeed.

„Naturally,“ Gwen commented dryly and struggled hard not to trip at the words Logan said next:

„I'm getting a few evil eyes myself. No wonder with the way you proudly present your D's.“ Gwen went a bright red and out of instinct drilled her nails into his arm harshly enough to make him bite his teeth and close his eyes for a second, face twisted into an expression of pain.

„You are despicable!“ Gwen hissed and Logan seemed to quietly nurse his wounded pride when the music finally subsided and Gwen curtsied as she ought to before leaving Logan behind in favour of walking towards the table the faculty had claimed for itself. What an idiot, oh would he never change? Truly whoever had deemed it a good idea to make him the Head Boy honestly deserved a resounding smack upside the head!

„Ah, Miss Kershaw. A wonderful dance, truly. You make a good pair“ Flitwick chirped and Gwen felt as if she had been doused with a bucket of cold water and immediately shivered at the mere notion of ever having to partner up with Logan again.

„I could have been a Slytherin and would get along better with him,“ she murmured to herself and then took a deep breath and clasped her hands behind her back.

„The prefects were each given an hour of patrol duty, spread evenly as to give them plenty of time to enjoy themselves as well. Logan took the evening off. I will be at your disposal for the remainder of the ball,“ Gwen spoke respectfully and was just one breath short of bowing her head when a hand found its way on her shoulder.

„Wonderful! Then you can dance with me!“ Gwen blinked in confusion and then turned to see Madam Hooch in a quite fetching dark suit sporting a wide grin.

„I... I actually meant to assist you in keeping a general order-“ she stammered but was interrupted by the silver-haired flying instructor:

„You said at our disposal. Hence I dispose you to dance. Delegate. That was the word I was looking for,“ Hooch rambled and did her best to tug Gwen towards the dance floor who shot the rest of the faculty a desperate look but was blithely ignored.

„Madam Hooch, are you tipsy?“ Gwen asked in a hushed whisper the moment the teacher started leading their dance.

„Why, I would never! I'm in a good mood, Miss Kershaw. Something you seem to be a bit of a stranger to,“ the woman stated with a wink and Gwen was completely helpless and at a loss of what to do.

„I... I am in a good mood. I often am.“ She felt the need to defend herself but cringed at the way she delivered the words. Weak and as if she didn't particularly believe in them herself. It was just stress.

„So that's why you looked like you were about to commit murder on the dancefloor,“ Hooch answered dryly and spun Gwen around who took the shade of a ripe tomato and cleared her throat.

„Logan doesn't count. We're like... siblings. Slightly dysfunctional siblings,“ she explained and mentally chided herself for doing whatever it was she was currently doing. Dancing with a teacher was one thing. Dancing with a drunk teacher and talking about herself was something else entirely. At least they didn't trip all over the place. Hooch certainly didn't look the part but she was a very good dancer and an even better lead. Gwen briefly asked herself how frequently the flying instructor did things like these but bit her tongue before the question could escape her mouth.

„So those rumours are false then, eh?“ Hooch asked and Gwen blinked twice before tilting her head to the left and shooting the older woman a look.

„Rumours?“ Gwen echoed and despite herself became quite worried when the teacher actually looked uncomfortable for a second. This couldn't be good.

„You and Mister Grant. Half the school thinks you two are a pair.“ Gwen tripped right then and there but Hooch somehow managed to turn it into something that looked much less like a graceless stumble and more like a subtle hiccup. Who in their right mind would think that Gwen and Logan were together?

„That's ridiculous. He has a new girlfriend every week. Does the whole school think me blind and stupid?“ she asked and couldn't help but feel a little insulted. Really, Logan never even tried to be subtle about his conquests. He was a Gryffindor after all. Half of them probably couldn't even spell subtlety.

„Quite the contrary. They think it's an act. I have to say I was quite skeptical though. Somehow you don't strike me as the type to seek or even find romance unless it tied you up and hit you square in the face with a beater's bat.“

_Tired and beaten, completely and utterly exhausted, Gwen forced herself to climb the stairs. The weight of the books in her bag wore her down. She had attempted to levitate them earlier but after the thorough training session she had subjected herself to, she simply had no energy left for something as simple as that. For a second she truly considered signing up for Gryffindor's swordsmanship lessons if only to increase her stamina. Though when she looked at the brutes that dueled each other under the beating sun, she quickly reconsidered. She would be obliterated. Trying and failing to stifle a yawn, Gwen used the stone railing to keep herself from falling to the ground but as soon as the strength in her arms ran out, she dropped to her knees. Gwen yawned again and allowed her eyes to fall shut. Curling up against the stairs – it was not comfortable – she hugged her bag close and rubbed her cheek against the robe of her uniform._

„ _You don't plan to sleep on a set of moving stairs, do you?“_

_Gwen breathed audibly and took a second to tilt her head and open her eyes. She wasn't even surprised. The tall woman had a habit of crossing her paths more often than not._

„ _You enchanted them. I trust they won't disappear while I'm still on them,“ Gwen replied sleepily. If she wasn't so tired she would stand up, bow and mind her tongue but as it was her brain barely even functioned. She decided to just give in to the urge to snooze off. Just a few minutes. Then she would have at least a little bit of strength and could go back to her rooms._

„ _Now now, none of that. If you were careless enough to completely spend your energy you should face the consequences. I won't have a student sleeping on the stairs.“ Of course she wouldn't. For the first time in over five years that she was her student, Gwen sorely wished the woman didn't possess that ability to find her at all times. Half of those times asleep in inappropriate places. So Gwen awkwardly got on her knees, eyes still closed and swayed heavily as she got to her feet, dragging her bag behind her like a miner._

„ _You should not completely deplete your magic. Even your reserves. What were you doing?“ Gwen heard Ravenclaw ask from beside her and when the enormous weight of her bag was suddenly gone from her hands and floating beside her, she sent the woman a thankful if tired smile._

„ _Something I shouldn't have. I ruined my robes,“ Gwen offered with a sigh and mournfully looked at the singed cloth and the frayed edges. Not to mention the ash that stuck to the cloth._

„ _A detour to my study then. I should have them mended quite easily.“ Gwen couldn't help but raise her head to look at Ravenclaw, surprise etched on her face. She had always liked and respected her and while she was occasionally blind to her faults, Gwen was fully aware that Ravenclaw wasn't known to be nice._

„ _That's... thank you,“ she finally settled on and allowed her tired mind to rest once more as they slowly walked through the castle in silence. With most of the student body gone to see their families between school terms, Gwen had been one of the first to ask whether she could be allowed to stay behind. She had been told that only those in danger from their neighbours or families were able to stay yet when the time to make the trip back home had come, Hufflepuff had ushered her back in the castle along with a small handful of other students Gwen knew for a fact, were safe from their surroundings._

_„Hand me your robes.“ Gwen blinked and only then noticed that they were standing in Ravenclaw's spacious, high-walled study. The first time she had come here she had left the room with neck pain. The bookshelves seemed to go so high that Gwen coudn't see the ceiling at all. Gwen shrugged out of the black robes and with a timid smile, handed them to the older woman and shivered slightly when a gust of wind came through the opened window._

„ _I would appreciate it if you stopped tampering with spells as dark as Fiendfyre. It's not a safe road to go down,“ Ravenclaw muttered absent-mindedly and Gwen flinched as if she had been caught doing something forbidden. While not directly prohibited, none of the teachers except perhaps for Slytherin, approved of the Dark Arts being used by students._

„ _How did you know?“ she asked quietly and Ravenclaw raised one of her brows as she silently traced the burned spots of the cloth with her wand._

_„It leaves a smell that's inherently different from regular fire. You're extremely lucky the flames only licked at your clothes instead of swallowing you whole. Controlling Fiendfyre is one of the most draining experiences there is,“ the woman explained and Gwen blushed from embarrassment._

„ _I read about it in a book I got from the restricted section with your pass. I suppose I broke the one rule you gave me. It's ah... in my bag. If you want to have it back,“ she muttered quietly and awkwardly rubbed her arm while staring at her feet. She was still tired and her head already half asleep. As such she simply wasn't able to properly fret._

„ _Don't be ridiculous,“ was all she received as response and Gwen found she could live with that. She was being incredibly lucky._

„ _I am aware that I come across as cold and indifferent and while I will admit that most of the time I am... I am not unreasonable. It would be nice if you were less surprised.“ Gwen stared at the woman's back and gulped once, throat suddenly oddly dry. Whatever had brought this on?_

_„Surprises can be nice,“ she pointed out and scratched her head before sinking down onto the chair that was offered her. If the furniture positions itself just behind you and nudges your legs you know it's as much of a hint as you can get._

„ _It might not be wise to distance yourself from your friends and peers over a minor conflict of opinion.“ Gwen didn't need to be a legilimens to hear the unspoken 'especially when it's about me' and Gwen bigged to differ._

„ _My private lessons with you are easily my most favourite part of the week. I smile when I leave for your study and they laugh about me, my books and my eagerness to study. Friends don't do that. They're not my friends,“ she spoke quietly and yawned at the end of her small speech. In the end, she was not able to resist the urge to pull up her legs and curl them underneath her body. It was horribly unseemly but comfortable and Gwen truly wouldn't mind dozing off in this chair right about now._

„ _They used to be,“ she heard the woman state and Gwen sighed tiredly. Her eyes fell shut ang she curled her arms around herself to try and preserve some of her bodily warmth. It was ridiculous how warm those robes truly were._

„ _They've proven they can't deal with me being myself. They act as if there's something wrong with looking up to you, as if there was something wrong with yourself. If there is, I guess I just can't see it. So I don't care.“ If Gwen had her eyes opened and weren't on the verge of falling asleep, she would have seen how Ravenclaw stopped her actions and turned her head to look at the small frame dozing off in her chair, curled up into a small ball and vibrant auburn hair burning like fire in the low light of the study. If only she had her eyes opened she perhaps would have found a reason to try and stay after her graduation. As it was, Gwen didn't see. So two years later, she left._

Gwen had always made it a priority to look good. Not good as in explicitly attractive good, but a well-maintained good. That meant hair in a neat hairstyle, a bun more often than not, uniform orderly and without any wrinkles and a polite expression on her face. This morning as she more or less loomed over her untouched breakfast, all that went straight to hell. Her hair was messy and had escaped its bun ages ago and her uniform was crumpled in a way it truly shouldn't be. She looked about as horrible as she felt and if she wasn't so tired, might even care about the way people looked at her. As it was, Gwen groaned quietly and used one hand to keep her head from meeting the desk while mirthlessly playing with her food.

„Rough night?“ She didn't have to look up to connect the cheerful voice to Hannah who Gwen still held a grudge against. With blonde hair and blue eyes she looked innocent but the truth was she was a true hellion. The very definition of a rabid badger as Gwen herself had seen when a few Slytherins had made the mistake of picking on a Hufflepuff first year. Nowadays people tended to avoid Hannah.

„Rough week,“ Gwen deadpanned and yawned once, fingers tangled in her hair and after a while she gave up on trying to untangle them. Soft hands gently resumed the task and Gwen allowed Hannah to make an effort to bring some semblance of order into her messy appearance. It did feel nice to be a little coddled. And Hannah was so good at it too.

„Want to tell me?“ the blonde asked as she sat down opposite of Gwen, never minding the fact that she stood out like a sore thumb. The whole of Ravenclaw had come to the conclusion that Gwen in her current state was best approached with care. After the loud and quite ugly fallout she had with Logan just a few days prior which resulted in a few nasty stinging hexes being sent his way, she could honestly understand.

„No no I'm alright. It's just the N.E.W.T stress,“ Gwen explained with a small wave of her hand, not feeling guilty at all about the half-lie she told the blonde. Who didn't seem to buy it.

„Really? I haven't seen you in the library at all the past week,“ Hannah declared and Gwen winced once before shooting her a tired look.

„I was studying in my rooms,“ she retorted and Hannah merely raised her brows.

„You know if you don't want to tell me, you should just say so. You've never been a liar and I don't think you want to turn into one now,“ the Hufflepuff said with a sigh and now it was Gwen's turn to raise her brows.

„You've known me for four months. I could be the most pathological liar you've ever come across,“ she pointed out dryly and all she got for her troubles was a mystified smile.

„Trust me Gwendolyn Kershaw when I tell you that I know a great deal more about you than you think,“ Hannah spoke happily and Gwen stared at her for a few seconds before shrugging once and playing with her food some more. They sat in quiet, Hannah not returning to her own table just yet. Gwen was thankful that they were separated from the rest of Ravenclaw. She had a pounding headache and their loud chatter wouldn't help her in the least. Fingers playing with the badge pinned to her robes, Gwen nibbled at her lip and stared into nothingness.

She dreamed, she knew that. Everyone did. But as a rule she never remembered her dreams. Until last week when she first woke up with vivid images in front of her inner eye and voices dancing around her ears, caressing her skin like a soft breeze. As time passed the image became foggier until all Gwen was truly able to recall was herself curled up in a chair and sleeping. She didn't know the other person in the room but something about the clearest grey eyes she had ever seen was oddly familiar.

„Are you coming Hannah?“ The voice tore Gwen from her thoughts and she looked up only to get her breath stuck in her throat. So that was where she had seen those eyes before. They looked just the same, a grey so pale and glittering it looked like silver with a depth that gave away just how much was hidden beneath the surface.

„Sure, Regina,“ Hannah answered. But how could that be? The woman in her dreams had easily been in her early forties or late thirties and even though Regina tended to act more serious than anyone else her age, she clearly was only seventeen.

„Hey, ah... Regina. Did we meet before? With... your mother maybe or something like that?“ Gwen asked uncharacteristically scatter-brained and rubbed her forehead only to miss the alarmed look Regina sent Hannah before all hints of emotion disappeared from her face again.

„I highly doubt it seeing as my mother didn't live to see my first birthday,“ Regina answered and Gwen bit her lip, eyes cast down. So much for that.

„Oh. I apologise,“ she murmured and then shook her head once, forcing her body off the bench. She should probably try to correct her appearance before heading to her lessons.

„Why do you ask?“ Gwen turned around to look at Regina again whose voice carried an odd tone that Gwen couldn't quite place.

„No reason, really. You're just... familiar I guess. Don't worry I probably just mistook you for someone else,“ Gwen answered with a tired smile and judging from the look on Regina's face that had been the worst possible thing she could have said.

_Heavy rain was pelting the windows and the entire castle was doused in a grey murky darkness. Hand on her chin, Gwen sat on one of the windowsills of the library, studies clearly forgotten on the table to her left. Perhaps it was her growing up in a place that was known for its never-ending rain but everything within her screamed at her to go outside. Yet she stayed put. The very thought of leaving the castle seemed to hurt her in a way that was entirely alien. She had carried a dark cloud above her head for the past few days but she didn't even know why. She hadn't even been able to enjoy Professor Ravenclaw's private tutoring. Gwen had still done her best of course but these days it seemed her 'best' wasn't cutting it._

_Her teacher had started to look at her oddly at times and Gwen knew it was disappointment. She was hardly as concentrated as she used to be and while not even once coming close to falling behind the others, her own progress had slowed down. With a single sigh, Gwen continued to look out of the window and placed her chin on her knees, head turned sideways and observing the water trickle down the glass outside. She had half a mind to open the window but since she was in the library, she would hardly risk the books getting wet._

„ _Homesick?“_

_Gwen startled and turned her head to spot Ravenclaw in a robe far less opulent than the ones she usually wore with a stack of books in her hands. She looked very casual all in all. Her hair lacked the intricate braiding it usually sported and was held out of her face by a single silvery clasp. Gwen hadn't known the woman was capable of dressing down._

„ _I don't think so. I just really like rain,“ she offered with a faint smile and made a move to get off the sill when the black-haired woman made her stop with a movement of her hand. Placing her books on Gwen's table, she gave another wave of her wand and the books all floated off the table, each going towards a different destination to seamlessly shelf themselves._

„ _Listen to me for a while, will you?“ Ravenclaw asked and Gwen nodded, wondering why she even had to ask such a thing. The older woman knew full well that Gwen always listened._

„ _Next year we will have another thirty students joining us, amounting to a total of a hundred and fifty students across all seven years. This year already we have... struggled to keep up with every single student and keep a good overview over our houses,“ Ravenclaw began and Gwen moved a hand through her hair and eased herself into a more comfortable position. Six years ago when she had just come to Hogwarts the austere woman would have scolded her heavily for such a lack of discipline and decorum. Perhaps it was because she knew how much Gwen respected her that she let her get away with the occasional slight in mannerism._

„ _As such, we decided to appoint one of the new seventh year students to act as liaison between us and the student body; a representative of sorts. Someone to take care of smaller matters and relay those of more severe nature to us. They will be able to issue disciplinary measures and will assist us in the daily matters of keeping Hogwarts up and running,“ Ravenclaw continued and Gwen nodded slowly. It did sound like a good idea. Even though the older students had been tasked with showing the younger ones around and helping them get settled, they were often too busy with their studies. With a wry smile, Gwen remembered her own first year and the days back when she and Eleanor were still friends. Their chase for the moving classrooms never failed to amuse her._

„ _That seems like the perfect occupation for Professor Hufflepuff's students. Olivia I believe is her name would surely be up for it,“ Gwen answered with a smile. It was true. Olivia was a great person. She and her group of friends were easy and effortless to be around and none of them ever gave her a hard time for so obviously enjoying Ravenclaw's presence._

„ _As a matter of fact, we have already decided,“ the woman stated and pulled a small something from an inner pocket of her robe. It glinted in the candlelight and with a bit of squinting, Gwen identified it as a brooch. Crafted from silver it sported the Hogwarts crest with its four colours and respective animals. They were so small she could barely see them._

„ _No need to strain your eyes like that. Take it if you want to have a good look at it. It's yours.“ Gwen snapped for air and looked at the woman with wide eyes who, true to her word, offered the pin to Gwen who was reluctant to take it._

„ _Me? But... why would you do that?“ she asked with honest wonder and winced slightly when the woman lost her patience and stepped close to attach the badge to Gwen's front. It did look quite nice against the black robes, she had to admit that._

„ _You are at the top of your year and lead by example. You aid younger students with their studies and help them navigate the library as well as the castle. Apart from one or two delves into more unsavory studies, you have a clean record and treat your peers as well as your teachers with utmost respect. You have proven to be trustworthy. We know we can rely on you,“ Ravenclaw spoke almost casually and Gwen stared at her with her mouth slightly opened before some semblance of sense came rushing back into her bones. Vehemently shaking her head, Gwen removed the badge from her robes and offered it the older woman._

„ _That's really not a good idea. I'm... socially inept and I don't think someone like me should be responsible for a hundred and fifty students,“ she reasoned but then Ravenclaw frowned at her and Gwen gulped audibly. She had forgotten that talking back to Rowena Ravenclaw was a mistake people only made once._

„ _We had a stalemate for the past two months. You asked us to quiet down last week on behalf of the younger students. If you do not accept it will undoubtedly happen again,“ Ravenclaw spoke warningly and Gwen instantly closed her hand around the badge and pulled it back, clutching it against her chest._

„ _Now was that so hard?“ the woman asked with a raised brow and Gwen sighed quietly to herself. She was not up to the task and they would find out somewhere along the way. She just hoped they would take the badge from her in quiet as to not embarrass her any further._

„ _I won't pretend I understand your decision... because I don't... but I do thank you. I suppose. No. I do. So... thanks,“ Gwen finished lamely and quietly congratulated herself on sounding like an idiot._

„ _A truly delightful display of eloquence,“ Ravenclaw noted dryly and Gwen blushed horribly, fingers playing with the badge._

„ _You have... an awful lot of confidence into someone who needs to be dragged to every single solstice fest and tends to fall asleep in the library, over books, on the stairs, in corners, against armor suits... you know what I mean,“ Gwen trailed off and awkwardly rubbed her neck. She was not making herself look like a good choice but truly the woman had to know how ridiculous the whole idea was?_

„ _Have a little faith in my judgment," she replied and when Gwen looked up spotted the smallest of smiles on her lips. Well if she believed in her then it couldn't be that bad an idea. Ravenclaw's council had never led her astray._

„ _You know I have plenty of faith in you. It's me I'm worried about,“ Gwen pointed out grudgingly and sighed once before fastening the brooch on her robe and making sure it wasn't crooked. The longer she looked at it the more she became aware of how it was nothing but a constant reminder of the fact that soon she would start her last year. It was like a clock and if Gwen really concentrated, she could hear it ticking._

„ _You should trust yourself a little more. I think you're brilliant.“ Gwen's breath got stuck in her throat and she looked up into pale silvery eyes which held absolutely no deception to them._

„ _You do?“ Gwen asked meekly and when Ravenclaw smiled and inclined her head for a simple nod, Gwen felt like she might burst into flames. A scarlet blush crept to her cheeks and she found it hard to look away._

_„Not as brilliant as me of course,“ Ravenclaw added and Gwen let out a single laugh before covering her mouth with her hand in order to try and stay serious, but failed. As she broke into uncontrolled giggles, she waited for a reprimand to come. She waited until her laughter eventually subsided but even then it never came. The image of Rowena wearing a fond smile on her lips and merely watching Gwen as she laughed happily never left Helga's memory._

She should not have done that. That was the only and most urgent thought, at the very front of her mind along with a steady chant of runrunrunrunrunrun. You see first years sneaking into the Forbidden Forest, you go and notify a teacher! You do NOT go after them and follow them all the way to a nest of acromantula! ShitshitSHIT! Gwen's body was filled with adrenaline as she tried to outrun giant spiders who were much faster and more nimble than her and the only thing she could think of was to run faster.

She had returned from a particularly trying study session in the library with every intention of taking a nice break on the grounds preferably close to the lake. That was when she had seen three Gryffindors on the edge of the forest and one by one crossing the threshold. So much for a nice break. The only way to trail them had been by using a human revealing charm and even then they had been quite the distance apart. Until the kids came back running towards her. Screaming bloody murder they had shouted incomprehensible words, the only thing Gwen truly understood being 'giant spiders'. Now she was no expert on the forest but she knew of the acromantula. So she did the only sensible thing.

She whirled around and followed the children, angry giant spiders hot on her heels. Her lungs burned and she was tired and knew that sooner rather than later she would stumble and fall and yet the forest didn't seem to end. Just how far had they wandered inside? Just then she heard a scream and saw one of the kids, a girl, on the ground just a few feet ahead of her, clutching her leg. Not allowing herself to think for too long, Gwen stopped once she reached the girl and pulled her off the floor, thankful that she was just a first year and thus easy to carry. The loud sound of branches snapping behind her sent another spark of fear down Gwen's spine and made her resume her run.

Now however, she was slowed down considerably and by the time she reached the edges of the forest she realised with horror that the acromantula were not about to let up. They were vicious and Gwen heard the clattering of their fangs behind her, the muted thumping of multiple legs traversing the forest so much better than her own... Something hit her in the back and with a startled cry, Gwen stumbled and dropped to the ground. Instinctively she scrambled backwards and got out her wand, casting a shield around the girl and herself just in time to avoid a second, decisively more lethal, swipe from one of the acromantula. They swarmed them from all sides, legs thundering against the bubble and blocking out all light. The girl sobbed and clung to Gwen's side whose mind ran on high speed.

„I don't wanna die,“ the girl cried and Gwen bit her lip. She shared that sentiment.

„Your friends will go back to school and alert a teacher. They will come for us,“ she muttered into the girl's hair and hoped she wouldn't notice that Gwen didn't believe her own words. Her hands were sweaty and she was sure she shivered. She was no Gryffindor. She was a Ravenclaw and as such not fit to deal with situations like these. Acromantula. Acromantula... what in Merlin's name did one do against acromantula? Frantically thinking, Gwen felt her magic drain into the shield and she knew that before long it would collapse. Their chances of surviving this were so slim Gwen paled and in turn clung to the girl as well.

„They won't be! I'm scared... do something!“ she wailed and Gwen bit her lip as the words cut through her like a knife. She was the Head Girl damnit, she was supposed to protect these children too and here she was. Helpless.

„I can't... I don't know what to do,“ Gwen forced herself to say and wrapped her arms around the girl, pressing her close to her chest and allowing her to sob into the cloth. That was when the shield flickered again and again, no longer supplied sufficiently and then just faded out of existence. At that very moment, Gwen felt as if time slowed down. The spiders were leaping at them, the girl let out a blood-curling scream and Gwen thought and thought and thought and suddenly she had an idea. It was stupid, so much unlike her and dangerous but they were about to die anyway. So Gwen whipped out her wand once more and through the thick forest, drowning out the spiders, she shouted at the top of her lungs.

„BELUA IGNIS!“

And the forest lit up.

„ _It's been four weeks and you still expect her to pass by you in the hallway and smile at you, don't you?“ The sudden voice startled Rowena but years and years of training stopped her from flinching or gods save her, actually yelp. Helga had crept up on her like a shadow and when she turned around to face her blonde best friend, she certainly didn't appreciate the knowing look in her eyes._

„ _Whatever you speak of I do not know,“ she replied haughtily and returned her attention to the scrolls and papers on her desk. If Helga had set her mind on needlessly meddling with Rowena's affairs, she would not hand it to her on a silver platter. Closest friend or not, the woman was a meddler and more often than not didn't know when to back off. She was a lot like Godric in that regard. Pity, she wasn't as scared of her wand as Gryffindor was or this whole ordeal wouldn't be necessary._

„ _I know you're fond of lying to yourself but you should know I can see right through it. You miss her, Rowena. That's perfectly natural,“ Helga spoke soothingly and Rowena bristled at her words, hot temper flaring up like a wildfire and dangerously close to running loose like a rabid animal. The last thing the castle needed was to lose another of its towers to her rage. The first one had been embarrassing enough._

„ _You are delusional,“ was all she said and furiously started organising the various essays she still had to grade. The few students that were staying at the castle during the summer break were not spared a myriad of essays to write and hand in. If they stayed they might as well make use of the time._

„ _I think you are the one who's delusional. You refuse to acknowledge that you lost your favourite student and clearly mourn her absence,“ Helga insisted and Rowena growled against her better instincts. Why did she always have to push things? That blasted Hufflepuff needed to learn how to shut her mouth._

„ _Back off, Helga. I'm in no mood to discuss your fantastic illusions,“ the taller woman spoke through her teeth and harshly grabbed a quill, setting on furiously marking every single mistake, be it grammatical, factual or alphabetical. She was aware that few of their students were capable of reading or writing perfectly. It was just another thing to teach. And if there was one thing among countless, that she was good at, it was teaching._

„ _You will take the time to listen to me and talk about this! You've been stalking around the castle like a wounded animal and lash out against those who dare cross your path. You made two of my younger students cry, Rowena and I will not stand for that!“ Helga demanded loudly and even through her annoyance, Rowena took note of the fact that sweet little Hufflepuff had dared to raise her voice. She hardly ever did so as she preferred to deal with whatever irked her in a patient and calm manner. She was the most mild-tempered out of all of them with Rowena having booked the rights on being the most explosive by far. Usually the blonde always took the brunt of Rowena's anger and acted as a buffer between her and everyone else. Disturbing the deep and quiet waters of Helga was something that unsettled even Rowena._

„ _I am not responsible for the emotional well-being of your students, Helga,“ she snapped despite knowing better and watched how Helga glowered at her, soft features twisted into an almost alien expression of barely repressed fury._

„ _For claiming to be so smart and acting like you're above everyone else you can be downright stupid at times, do you know that?!“ Helga bit and Rowena glared at her, angrily stabbing her quill into the paper._

„ _If you want to insult someone I suggest you pick on Godric. He thrives in verbal abuse,“ she drawled and almost flinched when Helga's fist met the oaken wood of her table, sending some of the parchments to the floor._

„ _See? This is EXACTLY what I mean. You're insufferable! She left, Rowena and she is NOT going to come back but that is NO reason to treat all of us as if we were worth less than the dirt beneath your shoes!“ Helga almost shouted and Rowena decided she had enough. Drawing herself up to her full height, she dropped the quill and clenched her fists._

„ _If you want to leave my study alive and in one piece you will stop talking about her. I am fine and her graduation does not bother me and you would do well to remember that,“ she growled, voice controlled but wavering with the brimming fury beneath that showed in her stormy grey eyes that darkened further with each word she spoke._

„ _That may work with Godric, but I am not afraid of you, Rowena. I can take you in a fight and you know it,“ Helga countered mercilessly and Rowena's fingers itched. Her first reaction usually was to snarl and insult, the second to draw her wand and force a fight. It worked well enough on Godric and to an extent even on Salazar but Helga had never given in. To this day she stubbornly refused to duel her best friend._

„ _Just get out!“ Rowena hissed, hands clawing into the cloth of her robes as to try and control the urge to hex the blonde. Their friendship had set, unspoken rules and Rowena knew that should it ever come to blows their trust would be shattered. It was inherently different from the friendship she had with Godric and Salazar._

„ _Ro, please. You only damage yourself along with everyone else. Why do you never allow yourself to feel? It's not a weakness,“ Helga plead with her and Rowena bit her teeth, resolve wavering at the mention of her childhood nickname. As young girl Helga had been woefully unable to pronounce Rowena's full name and after multiple failed attempts had resorted to a much more shortened version. The blasted blonde knew the reminder never failed to reach Rowena no matter how lost she was in her anger._

„ _There's nothing to feel about,“ she dismissed the notion and took a breath in an effort to control her temper. Helga didn't deserve it. She never did._

„ _Because she's gone... am I right?“ the blonde asked tentatively and closed in on Rowena, brushing a hand along her arm in a soothing motion. It actually helped._

„ _She was just a student. I will get over it“ she replied and looked out of the window. Before she realised, she looked for auburn hair in the distance and once she caught herself doing so, resolutely refused to look out of the window again._

„ _I think she stopped being 'just a student' to you long ago,“ Helga said gently and if Rowena acknowledged her words she certainly didn't show it. There was no real merit in this conversation and she did it purely to humour Helga so that she would eventually leave. There was no need to actually become invested._

„ _It's a shame, you know? She loved you just as much as you loved her.“ In hindsight, perhaps that was what truly set her off. Perhaps the underlying knowledge of that fact had been there but as with so many other things Rowena had blatantly refused to acknowledge it. To hear it with her own ears however, was inherently different. She had drawn her wand and the resulting fight had completely and utterly annihilated Rowena's study as well as the hallway it was connected to. It had taken Helga, Godric and Salazar to finally subdue Rowena and it had taken twenty years for Rowena and Helga to truly become friends again._

Waking up felt nothing like it was supposed to. For starters, Gwen was confused as to why she was waking up in the first place. She truly wasn't supposed to survive that particular idiot plan of hers. Her first instinct was to look to her right and upon spotting the girl, sleeping and a little worse for wear but undoubtedly alive, she let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. They had come out alive. All was well.

„Awake already, Miss Kershaw? You need to go right back to sleep.“ Though in the seven years that Gwen had been at Hogwarts, she had never been to the infirmary often. Not for actual injuries at least, mostly for pepper-up potions, calming droughts or cramp relieving brews. Yet Madam Pomfrey's voice held a strict edge to it that somehow engrained itself into people's brains.

„What happened?“ she asked, voice raw and raspy, with a pleading look at the matron who had already uncorked a sleeping solution. The woman sighed once and seemed torn on the matter before putting down the potion and crossing her arms in front of her chest. She was not happy then.

„Before or after your harebrained use of Fiendfyre?“ the elderly witch demanded and Gwen cringed visibly. Yes, she had been there to witness that part.

„After,“ she answered monosyllabically and averted her gaze. Not that it helped. The disapproval was palpable.

„As I was told, you and Miss Vance over there had been chased to the edge of the forest. You deemed it smart to cast a spell which is not only NOT taught at Hogwarts, but also considered one of the darkest and most destructive spells that exist as well as nearly impossible to control and dismiss. By the way, I am desperate to know how exactly you were able to learn it in the first place so that we can stop that from ever happening again!“ Madam Pomfrey snapped and Gwen thought that she raised a very valid point. Somehow the spell had come to her on instinct. She hadn't even known she was capable of casting it... or how she had come to know the incantation in the first place.

„I too would like to come by that particular bit of information, Miss Kershaw.“ Looking to the left again Gwen was faced with the Headmaster who was accompanied by the Professors McGonagall and Flitwick. Behind them, she could spot flashes of blonde and black hair and couldn't help but wonder why Hannah and Regina were here. She would ask them. If she survived this interrogation first.

„Professor Dumbledore! I know it sounds... stupid, but I don't know. I just know that there were acromantula... everywhere. I was scared, more so than ever before and I wasn't strong enough to keep up the shield and she... she was crying and screaming and I was desperate and then it suddenly came to me and I... just cast it,“ Gwen explained, hands seemingly calm on the blanket and fingers kneading the fabric. Shaking herself like a wet dog didn't help to shake off the feeling of dread or make her forget about the clicking of the spiders so she closed her eyes and violently bit her lip. She felt dirty but she didn't know why.

„I know I did it before but that... makes no sense, because I _didn't_. I'm not irresponsible enough to do it just for the heck of it but I knew exactly what I had to do. I knew the words, I knew the movement and I knew how to reign it in to keep it from escalating. It was just _there,_ “ Gwen added almost hollowly and opened her eyes again to stare at the adults. She knew how harsh the usage of dark magic was punished and she didn't want to lose her badge, or worse, be expelled.

„I admit that when three first-years barged into the Great Hall during lunch and shouted about giant spiders chasing two students, I didn't expect to see a perfectly controlled fiendfyre setting fire to a whole horde of acromantula without burning down the forest or consuming its caster as well as the young girl that clung to her robes,“ Dumbledore spoke thoughtfully and Gwen looked away, fingers still kneading the blanket. The fact that she had known what to do worried her more than the consequences of her behaviour. How could she simply know how to cast a spell such as this without any recollection of prior practise?

„I've been having... issues. Flashes, dreams, odd... thoughts. It's like a mild haze that closes around my head and then I either see something, say something or do something. Earlier, it was like that too,“ Gwen admitted as she recalled that particular feeling. She hadn't noticed it at the time but in hindsight, she could remember the fog settling over her thoughts in her complete and utter desperation. Was that what had supplied her with the knowledge?

„Do you remember the times it happens? Are you conscious or does it feel like a blackout?“ Dumbledore asked and the concern in his voice deeply unsettled Gwen. There was nothing wrong with her... right?

„I... I remember. It wasn't like anyone took... over or something like that. I remember clearly. I have to lift my wand, twist it just a little to the right and then raise it towards the sky, speak the incantation, let it run free for a second and then connect my mind to the fire and take it over to force it under my will. Once it served its purpose, I need to stop the stream and suffocate the remaining flames. It's... so clear to me and makes sense as if I've done it countless times before. It feels like I just... unlocked the knowledge. It's been there all along but I've never been able to access it,“ Gwen mused and didn't notice that she was rambling but it did make sense. All of it.

„There is... why did you never tell anyone that there's a sleeping dragon in the chasm next to the castle?“ Gwen asked suddenly, thoughts reeling and sight becoming just a little blurry but why yes. It was huge and its scales were black and she had seen it once on an excursion with- A searing pain raced through her forehead and Gwen moaned sickly, hands cradling her head in an attempt to soothe the pain.

„The symptoms are the same....,“ Madam Pomfrey murmured and Gwen could hear Dumbledore's voice through the dull ache:

„The same as what?“ he asked and Gwen felt a wand poking the side of her head and suddenly the pain lessened until it completely disappeared. Sighing once, she rested on the bed and closed her eyes in relief.

„Albus, I think she was obliviated some time ago. Now it's breaking down and she starts to remember.“

_It was a clear and chilly night. The lights of Hogwarts were burning in the darkness, visible from even the farthest of distances. The waters of the lake rippled as the boats sailed across the waters and carried a new generation of Hogwarts students to the castle. High up and above their heads they were watched by a lone woman standing behind one of the coloured stain glasses. Fingers resting against the cold window, she shivered slightly when a gust of wind swept through the room and brought a new promise of change. It was always the same._

_With a single sad look, the fingers brushed against the glass one last time before the old and dusty grandfather clock behind her chimed three times. A ghostly pale hand pulled a dark blue chiffon shawl from the back of an oak chair and draped it around equally pale shoulders. Footsteps so quiet they could barely be heard, she made nary a sound to disturb the peace of an empty Hogwarts just moments before it would be filled and full of life again. Tomorrow classes would start once more, yet the hours it would take until then were but the blink of an eye._

_A soft clangour chimed through the deserted corridors as dark blue stones, the very purest of sapphires, touched each other as she descended the stairs. A ring of silver was clasped around her frail neck and the gems it was attached to rested neatly against fair skin, painting a lovely yet ultimately ghostly contrast. Her fingers slid over the stony bannister of the grand staircase and she took in the beauty that was the castle, undisturbed. It was hauntingly beautiful yet filled her heart with an entirely different sort of sorrow. This was what it always came down to; an empty castle yet she always chose to stay behind. From far away she could hear the excited chatter of those who returned for another year of learning and studying and it brought a faint smile to her scarlet lips. A small spark of joy and she closed her eyes and listened to their talks._

_V_ _oices, high and low, male and female, mixed together into a symphony of well-organised discord, a sound that hadn't changed throughout the past twenty years and never would. She knew she was supposed to be with the rest already but she had a habit of not arriving on time and it was hardly a noteworthy tendency. She came; that was what mattered. Rounding one last corner she set foot into the Great Hall and was greeted by warm flickering candle lights, a dark and cloudly ceiling above her and the only barely audible music which played in the background._

_Drawing her shawl just a little tighter around her shoulders, she felt a thin layer of goosebumps forming on her skin but didn't let that deter her. Even during the coldest of winters she never forsook her light and flimsy chiffons in all the dark and heavy colours of the sky and the sea. The students acknowledged her presence as she passed them but she paid them no mind. The first night of a new term was always special to her and kept her locked up tightly in her own little world._

„ _I'm glad to see you've joined us at last, Rowena,“ Godric spoke and Rowena passed him with a thin smile and eventually lowered herself onto her designated seat directly in front of her House's table. Letting her gaze sweep over the masses of students, she felt pulled back to last year and the one before and the one before that. Just like every year, all of them sailed past her inner eye, too fleeting to hold but too strong to dismiss. It was always the same and in a sea of faces she hardly ever noticed the differences in skin tone, hair colour or facial architecture. For the briefest of moments she felt bad for feeling the way she did but after so much time she ought to be granted some leeway. Perhaps she had been doing this for too long. Perhaps it was time to let it go and move on._

_The first years entered the hall, led by Catherine who was this year's Head Girl and she allowed herself a moment of respite. A moment to breathe. With the scroll in her hand, Catherine stepped closer to the hat and began to read the student's names. Shooting Godric's old hat (and Rowena truly hoped that in the centuries to come someone would come around to replace it with something more dignified) a single, mildly disdainful glance she only paid little attention to the sorting itself. So far she had gotten two new students and was somehow pleased to see that Helena immediately took it upon herself to direct them towards the more friendly students._

_Rowena was quite aware that her House, that prided itself in aspiring to be like her, had a severe lack of social skills but that came with the territory and the few oddballs she usually had were enough to outbalance that particular disadvantage. Not that Rowena would ever dare admit that living and breathing books, scrolls and pure knowledge came with disadvantages. Harold Jones was one of already four new students for Godric and Rowena allowed herself a second to look at her glass of wine when Catherine's voice called out another name._

„ _From the Evergreen Kershaw's, Regina.“ Her head shot up and she spotted hazel eyes and deep, auburn hair and her blood froze in her veins. She didn't know whether to laugh, cry or curse when the girl was sorted into Ravenclaw._

It was getting worse. Concentrating on the food in front of her, Gwen took bite after bite, the mixture of fresh fruits, oatmeal and yogurt leaving an ashy taste in her mouth. The discovery the matron had made just a week ago had shaken her whole life. Obliviation. And that was the whole entirety of what they knew about her situation. No when, no who, no how. The Headmaster, Madam Pomfrey and just about everyone else had been in favour of delving into her mind to try and seal her mind once more. Apparently a waning obliviation came with severe risks and dangers to ones mind and general mental health.

Never before had Gwen been so happy to be of age. As such she had been able to refuse the offered treatment no matter how big of a headache the following discussion had given her. Something deep within her had told her that these memories, thoughts or whatever they were, were for her to know only. A secret only she should keep. Also, Gwen had the inherent feeling that those memories were private. She didn't want them to be seen by intruders. Her decision had been respected – for now. And only under the condition that should she get worse, they would intervene. Seeing as she was currently attending Hogwarts she was the Headmaster's responsibility and he had told her he would not hesitate to try and save her life as was his duty. So all Gwen could do was to try and act like everything was just peachy.

Like she didn't have head-splitting headaches. Like she didn't fade out sometimes. Like she didn't see pictures or hear voices. It was becoming distracting and as of late she had these dizzy spells. Luckily they only happened when she was out of the public eye. With a sigh, Gwen heaved her body off the bench and more or less dragged herself to her next lesson. Defense against the Dark Arts. She wished it could have been something like History or perhaps Herbology... both subjects she could turn off her mind albeit for different reasons. But no, it had to be Defense. And that on a day when they would be duelling. At least Gwen was rather sure that was what would be happening, judging from the way the tables were stacked to the side and made for a rather spacious area. It was then that Gwen noticed that she was in fact the last student to arrive. And she was actually late.

„Ah, Miss Kershaw. You decided to grace us with your presence.“ Gwen sighed at the heavy sarcasm of Professor Marigold and sent the man the best apologetic glance she could muster.

„I'm sorry. I still feel a little out of sorts,“ she offered and didn't feel that bothered by the excuse she gave. It was up to him to decide whether she meant the running for her life and conjuring fiendfyre business or the obliviation. She had been informed that all of the staff had been told and while not exactly happy about it, had accepted it.

„Well I suppose playing with demonic fires does that to a person. Now close the door behind you please. There's some dueling to do!“ he exclaimed loudly and Gwen cringed mildly at his words. Yes. Demonic fires. She wondered if she was ever going to live that one down. She tried not to think about the worrying implications the use of the darkest of magics brought. It wasn't like the whole school had followed the teachers and seen the fire for themselves. As such, trying to squash the rumour had been a futile effort. She tried not to remember that particular conversation. She hadn't kept track of how many times she had promised to never use it again. Lesser people had faced expulsion because of something like that but seeing as it had been a life or death situation and she couldn't really be held repsonsible for her actions at the time, they had let her go.

„Now, now... first duel of the day. How about... Grant. Yes, Grant and... Kershaw? Are you up for it?“ Gwen blinked at the mention of her name and saw Logan standing in one corner of the room, wand loosely in his right hand and looking at her. Gwen opened her mouth to decline when suddenly she wondered if perhaps it wasn't such a bad idea after all. She liked to duel, didn't she? It could certainly take her mind off the stressful matters.

„Sure,“ she answered nonchalantly and drew her wand as well, wandering to the other end of the room.

„Good good. You know the rules; no lethal spells, no unforgivables, no dark magic. You hear me, Kershaw?“ Marigold asked and Gwen bit her lip and sent the floor an angry glance.

„Yes, Sir,“ she answered and deep inside hated the man for a single second. She had enough on her plate as it was and he was just hell-bent on making it worse, wasn't he? Gwen shook her head and cast her mind back on the happenings. She bowed as was customary and then raised her wand, waiting for the teacher to count to zero.

Gwen blocked Logan's first stunner and sent one in kind, evading an Expelliarmus sent her way and retaliated with a leg-locker, a body-bind and a second stunner in rapid succession. Not that that hindered Logan whose athletic disposition made it easy for him to dodge every single attack without needing to resort to blocks.

„What's up, Gwenny? Your aim's off,“ Logan teased and Gwen only rolled her eyes. Leave it to Logan to sprout nonsense in the middle of a duel. Gwen, who had neither his endurance nor his nimble feet, kept blocking whatever he threw her way. She had always had a knack for shielding charms but the longer they fought, the easier they seemed to become. Which was quite odd. Usually it was the other way around.

„Come on, stop hiding behind your shields. You know you'll run out eventually,“ Logan laughed and Gwen frowned at him, sending the occasional mild hex or jinx in between her almost constant shielding. A look towards her teacher showed her that he was narrowing his eyes at her. So he noticed that she didn't in fact, hide behind a single shield but always cast them just in time before Logan's neverending barrage of spells could hit her. It astounded Gwen too. She hadn't known she was _that_ good with shields. Logan ramped up the intensity a little by firing incendios and other, potentially harmful spells and Gwen grit her teeth while slowly falling into a rhythm. She didn't notice how she had started to slip just a little but if anything she felt like she was dancing a dance she had performed many, many times before. The timing of her shields was absolutely impeccable. Nothing Logan could do could break her defenses.

„Put up a fight, Gwenny. I want this to end!“ Logan exclaimed and in that second it felt as if Gwen had lost all control over herself as her mind retreated and her body acted on its own accord. She shot a Bombarda, missing Logan on purpose and drawing his attention for just a second in which his eyes strayed to the dent she had made in the wall. He looked away, Gwen sidestepped one of his curses and raised her wand, pointing it straight at Logan. He opened his mouth to protest but suddenly it seemed as time and space around him distorted and his image became blurry. Whatever he tried to do, he was slowed down strongly enough that Gwen could easily draw a half circle into the air and use her free hand along with her wand hand to just push towards Logan. He was flung back into the wall with a violent crunch and the spell around him was broken as he slid down the stone, groaning in pain.

„When I said I want it to end, I didn't mean that you should break my sodding bones,“ Logan lamented and Gwen shook her head once, coming out of her stupor.

„What was that spell you used just before you disabled him?“ Marigold asked as he went to check on Logan who groggily got back on his feet. Gwen blinked once and tried to answer. Not that she could, seeing as she honest to Merlin had no idea.

„I read about it. It's relatively unknown and in medieval times, was mainly used in order to incapacitate people as well as preserve them over prolonged amounts of time. It creates a bubble around the victim of the curse which cuts them off the normal time flow. I believe one normal second translates into ten spellbound seconds,“ Gwen's head shot to the left at the sound of Regina's voice who calmly delivered an explanation. The girl refused to look at Gwen for reasons she truly didn't understand but there was something about her that made Gwen squint just a little harder. She had come across her quite often as she hardly went anywhere without Hannah and as such, had become quite used to her overall presence. There was still something wrong with her though.

„Well then... ten points to Ravenclaw for ingenious spell use, I guess. So... why don't you guys team up in groups of two and see who can take out their opponent the quickest?“ Marigold asked and Gwen was just about to try and take a small break, perhaps sit down somewhere, when a searing pain raced through her head and everything went black.

She didn't know where she was. Everything around her was dark and sort of floaty in a rather unsettling way. No body, no mind, but there was some thought involved. Primarily an endless stream of runrunrunrunrunrun. If she had eyelashes to blink with, she would do so but failing that she just followed the noise as good as she could. There was a rustling too. Branches snapping, female screams and an underlying choir of dark cackles. There were desperation, fear, and a wish. A wish for something, someone to come and save them and then suddenly there was fire. A blazing light lit up the surrounding darkness and the heat scorched her skin. She looked down on herself and spotted a shade that with a lot of imagination, could be her own body. What was going on?

„Gwen...“ She heard the faint whisper and even though the voice sounded alien to her ears, it did carry a tone that was familiar. So she walked on and soon enough the heat and screams faded out only to be replaced by violins and harps that gradually became louder. Laughter echoed through the vast nothingness and the sound of heels clicking against stone. Merriness all abound and humming to the rhythm of the music, she twirled around herself and smiled lightly. She wore a dress she knew that and spread her arms wide to each side, spinning and dancing without any weight to pull her back to the ground.

„Gwen“ The voice sounded clearer now and more urgent so she tore herself away from the sounds and images with a weary sigh. Walking on towards the origins of the voice, she passed small balls of light to her left and right. As soon as she looked at one of them she could hear even more voices and the longer she walked, the more tangible they became. They were whispers and she could hardly make sense of them but some filled her with happiness, some stressed her and some saddened her. She only wished she knew why. The next time she stopped was when she was hit by a bout of familiarity that nearly caused her to lose her balance. An image flashed in front of her eyes and she stepped closer to get a proper look. They were four people her age, two boys and two girls and something about them evoked an eerie sense of home within her. She let her eyes glide over them.

To the utmost left was a tall, fiery redhead and next to him was a smaller boy with dark hair and a mild scowl on his face. Next to him was a young girl with blonde curls and a warm, welcoming smile and to her right stood a tall and regal girl who seemed to be much older than all of them. She evoked the strongest reaction within her and when she reached out to try and touch her, the image suddenly shattered into thousands of small pieces which faded away. Soon enough it was just another ball of light which zoomed away. She broke into a run and chased the ball, desperate to reach it and try and find out who they were and why they felt so important, when suddenly she was stopped by a massive oak door. Looking around, there seemed to be no way around it and when she tried to open it, the wood didn't budge. Pressing her ear against the wood, she was able to make out voices who bickered amongst themselves, too quiet for her to understand them.

„Gwendolyn...“ The voice was much louder now, unmistakenly female and coming from the other side of the door. So she hauled her fists against it and tried to force her way through because she knew she needed to get there but it seemed impossible. Where was she and why was she caught here? A barely glowing ball of light manifested just in front of her and after hesitating for a moment, she reached out and touched it. Her mind was filled with the smell of parchment and spearmint, an intoxicating mixture. She got lost in a sea of pale and allknowing silver. Pale streets and lands, smooth and looking cold but actually warm to the touch, deep black grasses and trees, tendrils of unrivaled softness and a burning scarlet sun and all of it screamed at her because she needed to remember, she had to remember or else it would be lost all over again and it would take another thousand years for everything to come together like this-

A wild storm rushed towards her, a scattered ensemble of black and white fragments, pulling with them a silver rain of stars and moons and with a loud gasp, she stumbled through the door and her eyes snapped open as images flew past her and enveloped her in a bubble of sounds, smells and memories.

_Getting up from her chair was hard and every single bone of her body ached. Sighing quietly, she took a look at her wrinkled skin and shook her head before finally coming to a stand of her feet and carelessly flicking her wrist to imbue the fire with life once more._

_„Darling? Are you up?“ The frail male voice reached her ears but she didn't react, only gestured with her hand to signal the man that she had understood._

„ _Yes yes Harold. I'm up,“ she spoke, voice heavier than it had been during the days of her mouth and Gwen slowly but steadily walked over wooden floors, the material creaking softly with every step and disturbing the utter stillness of the house. Briefly looking out of a window she saw the rain pelt against the glass but paid it little attention. After all, in the Glades, it always rained._

„ _Ah. There you are,“ Walking stick in his left hand and back hunched, Harold made its way towards her, brown and heavily stitched robes trailing after him._

„ _The ceremony will start soon. Are you ready?“ he asked and Gwen merely nodded, reaching for a small bottle of green paint and beginning to diligently draw symbols and lines on her bare arms. Another life union to be celebrated and while she fulfilled her duties as their circle's archdruid and was approving of their village's good fortune, didn't feel as enthusiastic about it as she should. She resented herself for it ever so slightly._

_„Do you remember the night we celebrated our union? The moons had a very special constellation... just for us,“ Harold mused in the past and Gwen remembered. He had been nice enough and curious as well as appreciative of all the new and foreign magic she had learned once she had come back from- that place. While others avoided her at first and only grew tolerant of her odd magic after she began to teach them and their children and made their daily life a lot easier, Harold had smiled at her. Every time she had seen him and he hadn't even been too forward. One night he had asked her to become his companion for life. She had agreed._

„ _The Giant and the red one in a firty five degree angle to the Watcher's stars,“ she murmured, her mind despite her advanced age still springy and active. During her youth, she had always prided herself in her ability to learn and memorise things. She was glad to keep this small remnant of a time she didn't dare remember but would never be able to forget._

„ _Always so factual“ Harold spoke softly, Gwen knowing his fond eyes to be on her despite not looking at him. Finishing the runes she got up, impossibly long silver hair falling down her shoulders and just for a few moments Gwen thought it was red again, the vibrant colour of the youth she so clung to and instantly buried the fleeting thoughts._

„ _We should go,“ she said and Harold hummed once before nodding and following her out of the door. The rain assaulted them instantly but Harold raised his arm a little and breathed a few whispers in the language of the sky and trees and suddenly the rain disappeared. Their hut wasn't far from their ritual circle and Gwen could see everyone assembled already. As soon as they spotted her, they held their torches higher and begun chanting, the young girl and man in the circle's middle kneeling down onto the earth, their bare skin shivering at the cold. Gwen looked up at the sky, the stars and moons shining with a bright luminousity they rarely displayed. Their union would be particularily fruitful and blessed._

„ _We have assembled this clear night to bring Ferrah, daughter of Fruna and Grant, son of Garrod to their roots,“ she spoke, voice firm and stalwart as she assumed the role she had filled for many... many years. A gust of wind surged through them and disturbed the fires, a few bright sparks flying right past Gwen's eyes._

„ _Risen and made from the earth, sustained by the water and the sky, living, breathing and cherishing the nature which has given them life, breath and cherish in return.“_

_The wind increased and with a flicker of worry, Gwen noticed that those participating in the ritual grew a little restless. Mother Earth had an unnaturally strong response to this binding. A drop of water landed right on her nose and she furrowed her brows; Harold's pleas had never fallen on deaf ears._

„ _They have come together as Mother Earth willed them to unite under the moon and the stars, using life to gain life and create some in return.“_

_The wind around them began to howl and Gwen's silver hair fluttered in the wind violently, obscuring her sight and coming dangerously close to making her frail and old body lose balance._

„ _As such we ask for the blessing of the wind, the blessing of the earth, the blessing of the fire and the blessing of the water-“_

_The wind's direction changed and Gwen was assaulted by an unbearable heat as the large fires flaring up and blazing in her direction but Gwen was not scared. As the flames burned right in front of her eyes and tiny sparks sailed across the air towards the black sky she felt she couldn't look away. Her ears went deaf to any outside sound as she stood, surrounded by the fire but not burning or feeling any pain and listening to the comforting music it played. She felt the grass beneath her bare feet and a gentle stream of air caressing her skin as the rain began to pour down and drench her to the bone. It was a beautiful synergy of the elements she had lived with for the majority of her life and for the first time in over eighty years... she felt home._

_Just then she heard a thunderous crack of lightning and looked up to see that the moon and stars had vanished, leaving behind nothing but a vast blackness. The fire roared up once again and the flames danced, their hymn increasing and growing needier, more desperate as they danced and danced and shifted into an image-_

_Gwen's breath got stuck in her throat as she recognised it. Dancing and wavering she saw the sharp cut of her face, her impossibly high cheekbones, the straight nose, and defiant chin, and the blazing wisdom shining brightly in big eyes._

„ _What are you trying to tell me?“ she asked, unable to hear her own voice through the cacaphony of the elements and then suddenly felt the floor slip from underneath her. The earth opened up and swallowed her whole and then she was just... falling._

_She falls surrounded by a bright and glowing night, eyes closed and mind sleeping. She falls and falls like a star from the sky and she is being watched by millions of people, observing a shooting star and making their wishes. She meets the ground with a force that should have killed her, her body resting at the bottom of a giant crater, clothes smoldering and vibrant auburn hair glistening in the low light of the moon as the glow slowly fades._

„ _I can't believe it worked.“ It's two women, young enough to be girls, standing at the edge of the crater, one holding the hand of the other who is... shaking._

„ _It's another chance for you,“ she adds, squeezing her hand as they stare down on the form of an unconcious girl, many years their junior._

„ _Make it right.“_

_  
„Kershaw, Gwendolyn!“_

_She's nervous and shaking but she steps forwards nonetheless, sits on the chair and waits until her vision is obstructed by old and well-worn leather._

„ _Oh fair lady from the evergreens,“ the voice inside her head hums and she bites her lip, anxious and unsure. It's a hat and it talks to her and no matter how odd it is, the dusty smell of the object is somewhat familiar._

„ _So she finally did it, hm? Well, there is only one place for you to go. RAVENCLAW!“ She breathes a sigh of relief even though it really hasn't come as a surprise._

„ _Oh my, Miss Kershaw! What a delightful display of magical control!“ the tiny professor squeaks as she lets not one, not two but three feathers dance in the air, circling each other in a stable and neverchanging rhythm. She doesn't hear his praise or notices the points she earns for her house. She is mesmerised by the feathers who float easily and move without being told do and as everyone else slowly fades away and nothing but the feathers remain, for a split second she can smell spearmint and parchment._

_She is one of only two students who sign up for staying at Hogwarts during the summer break. She only writes a quick note to her foster family and spends entire days wandering the castle, never taking a wrong turn, never getting lost. One day she finds a room filled with golden trophies, silver cups, and bronze medals. Commendations for Quidditch players, extraordinary academical feats, heroic deeds. There's a long metal plate as well with names engraved, a list of head boys and girls. Gillian Jones marks the top of the list and she looks at the names and decides that one day, hers will join them. Just as she turns around and leaves the room, atop Gillian Jones' name, another name flickers in and out of existence, too quickly for anyone to properly read it._

_She hears the shouts before she can see the bright and colourful jets of light and as she turns a corner, is faced with three Gryffindors standing in front of a young Slytherin boy who is crouched on the floor, his wand in one of the older boys hands. For a moment she is afraid, she is only a third year after all and no match for these students, but when their eyes flicker to her she doesn't take the opportunity to run._

„ _Finite Incantatem,“ she says clearly and gets rid of the jinx on the boy before training her wand on the Gryffindors. A part of her just fades away, the fear and panic subside as something else takes their place. Without saying a single word she sends the three boys flying and renders them unconcious. The boy thanks her, quietly and sullenly, but she says she's only doing her job._

_It's no surprise to anyone when star student and almost progidy Gwendolyn Kershaw receives the prefect badge. Some expect her to struggle with her duties as well as the ten OWL courses she signed up for, but she only smiles and studies hard. The library has become her second home inside the castle and it's no rare sight for her to be seen with younger or even older students and helping them with their studies or personal problems. She has an easier time to learn things than others, a fact she has realised during her very first year. Some things just come naturally to her, especially wandwork and magical theory. She's never considered herself particularily gifted but sometimes she feels like it really shouldn't be this easy._

_Opening the letter and seeing the head girl badge is when she has her first vision. Everything fades out and turns black and as colour seeps back into the world, she's no longer at home in the kitchen. She's in the Hogwarts library and it's dark, only a small candle illuminates the place she is most used to, which looks scarily different. There's a woman in a long gown and a girl sitting on a windowsill. She can't understand their words but the woman is smiling warmly at the laughing girl. She takes a step closer, just to look, sees the girl and falls into her own hazel eyes, auburn hair and pale skin. Next time she blinks she looks at the dark-haired woman and her heart_ opens.

_It's a whirlwind of colours, images, scents and sounds, tinkgling bells, female laughter, spearmint, parchment, even fire, blue, white and silver and she shakes, convulses, there are hands on her that try to calm and steady her, chants as words are spoken and wands are waved but she can't, she won't, they can't do this to her, not now, not ever, not **again** \- _

_She shifts, a little to the left, a little to the right and two Gwendolyns... become one. The one opens her eyes and says:_

„Rowena.“


End file.
